Joe
Provider
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2005
- Posts
- 162
- Location
- Netherlands
- Society
- Delta Force
- Avatar Name
- Jack Joe Voyager
Once upon a time there was still the ability to communicate telepathically, but then there came the ability to read women’s minds (what women want) which changed sadly into a disaster, because the disaster was ability to really annoy women and get really badly whipped and sold into slavery.
So that’s why he run away with only one of his famous trained squirrels, the other sadly left behind in the cold dark floor, before the sun arose and warmed the little squirrel, giving it fresh hope.
It was not that he felt guilty in any way, but he had to go back and make sure that the women of the world weren't overly affronted. Nor his left-behind squirrel.
After seeing some, he realized that it would only be a matter of time before the big sun went down and then something went out of the shadows of dankness.
It was a beautiful raccoon, that saw her and said: "My father was a hamster, and my mother reeked of elderberries. How come I'm a raccoon?" .To which she replied: "When sand becomes fire, and wind becomes water, all kind of weird things happen" ,she said slowly.
It was clear that the raccoon didn't understood a single word, but the raccoon had an even more urgent question to ask, which was ,why his father didn’t respond telepathically to his calling, and, why he always felt dizzy when he jumped around while holding a large basket of fruit?!
And the answer was really unexpected. He was told that since the moon was correctly aligned with Saturn, than if he will stand in the middle of the forest, he will transform in to mesmerizing woman and from now on being able to control hamsters to make them roll over.
But the little poor hamster got dizzy to quick and had to find some strawberries. When he found some, he decided to dance polka under the moon to see if it magically changed shape to a big giant mushroom.
It was one of those moments u wished for a very big frying pan. So you can jump on it and than a pig came looking scared, wondering how he got into this story because he taught he is untouchable while he was hiding behind the tree, but then the lumber jack came and cut the tree down. Leaving the pig, the mushroom and the raccoon behind.
Famous Lumberjack started into his new adventure by the lake, which was full of trouts. It was hot summer day and suddenly the lumberjack saw, emerging from the lake's waters, a huge fried chicken!?! Well, imagine his face!
But as brave as he was, he pulled out his shotgun and ate it. But as it happens when one eats fried chicken that has been lounging around in lakes, the lumberjack got a spot of indigestion. That's why he had a double Espresso. When suddenly he began to grow feathers, and realized it was a mutated fried chicken he had just eaten.
A chupacabra was watching the transformation and said: "OMG!!! What the hell are u doing?!" And in the middle he stopped the transformation and said: "Ok I will stop
"
"Or...no wait, I will continue my transformation because I have a business meeting at 5 pm !!". I need to meet with a happy frog and she will bring me a magical bean.
The chupacabra looked upon his watch and made a funny noice that sounded like: http://mccormick.starbase.se/51109.wav
To which LumberJack replied by asking "my god, are you sucking the blood out of that woman???? Are u becoming a vampire?!"
The chupacabra walked slowly towards a nearby tree. "It has nothing to do with u, but I have to find some goat before I starve to death".
Thus he got out his red and white checkered picnic blanket, you know, the one that still has the corner ripped from the last picnic when an earthquake started and 4 evil teletubbies emerged from the cracking ground saying: "oh ooh", and offered some Tubby custard to go with the big giant mushroom.
RRRRIIINNNGGGGG!!!!! Suddenly the alarm bell rang wich woke up the master of thlepaty! He wasnt too happy and started mummling something about pink custard.
But wait. There was something else. The air was filling with a loud noice that sounded like two rabid Wildabeasts engaged in some spring-time lolly jolly, which if you really think about it shouldn't be in a story like this.
At that point, the master of thelepaty opened his Large book and said "a whole lot of nothing going on".
So he immediately jumped right back in bed and told the racoon to tell him a story so he can fall asleep again, and the racoon replied: " Get your lazy butt out of bed and help me find some papplons to eat".
It was not the behaviour of the raccoon that made him realize what path he had to walk, but the small whispering voice in the back of his mind, reminding him of why he was here.
It all goes back to to his training when his master told him my son, beware of the racoon-eating six-headed chupacabra, for it will ask you for dinner! But in the meantime the easter bunny comes in yelling something about his long fogotten son, who is actually his father but the seven holy flowers had nothing to do with the lump of cheese jumping around, because they smell completely different.
You could say that the cheese was bought from a 78 year old dwarf purveyor of "Fine Olde Worlde Cheese", and not from Interflora. By the way, the Dwarf also has a fine range of Grandma's Black Gravey that was 70-years old and very valuable because you could craft a pile of crap that taste like fresh-cut spring grass with a hint of lemon.
But it sure doens't look like those fancy grass dinners u often see on television. This all took less then a second for the raccon to realize and he ...
Keep it coming guys
So that’s why he run away with only one of his famous trained squirrels, the other sadly left behind in the cold dark floor, before the sun arose and warmed the little squirrel, giving it fresh hope.
It was not that he felt guilty in any way, but he had to go back and make sure that the women of the world weren't overly affronted. Nor his left-behind squirrel.
After seeing some, he realized that it would only be a matter of time before the big sun went down and then something went out of the shadows of dankness.
It was a beautiful raccoon, that saw her and said: "My father was a hamster, and my mother reeked of elderberries. How come I'm a raccoon?" .To which she replied: "When sand becomes fire, and wind becomes water, all kind of weird things happen" ,she said slowly.
It was clear that the raccoon didn't understood a single word, but the raccoon had an even more urgent question to ask, which was ,why his father didn’t respond telepathically to his calling, and, why he always felt dizzy when he jumped around while holding a large basket of fruit?!
And the answer was really unexpected. He was told that since the moon was correctly aligned with Saturn, than if he will stand in the middle of the forest, he will transform in to mesmerizing woman and from now on being able to control hamsters to make them roll over.
But the little poor hamster got dizzy to quick and had to find some strawberries. When he found some, he decided to dance polka under the moon to see if it magically changed shape to a big giant mushroom.
It was one of those moments u wished for a very big frying pan. So you can jump on it and than a pig came looking scared, wondering how he got into this story because he taught he is untouchable while he was hiding behind the tree, but then the lumber jack came and cut the tree down. Leaving the pig, the mushroom and the raccoon behind.
Famous Lumberjack started into his new adventure by the lake, which was full of trouts. It was hot summer day and suddenly the lumberjack saw, emerging from the lake's waters, a huge fried chicken!?! Well, imagine his face!
But as brave as he was, he pulled out his shotgun and ate it. But as it happens when one eats fried chicken that has been lounging around in lakes, the lumberjack got a spot of indigestion. That's why he had a double Espresso. When suddenly he began to grow feathers, and realized it was a mutated fried chicken he had just eaten.
A chupacabra was watching the transformation and said: "OMG!!! What the hell are u doing?!" And in the middle he stopped the transformation and said: "Ok I will stop
""Or...no wait, I will continue my transformation because I have a business meeting at 5 pm !!". I need to meet with a happy frog and she will bring me a magical bean.
The chupacabra looked upon his watch and made a funny noice that sounded like: http://mccormick.starbase.se/51109.wav
To which LumberJack replied by asking "my god, are you sucking the blood out of that woman???? Are u becoming a vampire?!"
The chupacabra walked slowly towards a nearby tree. "It has nothing to do with u, but I have to find some goat before I starve to death".
Thus he got out his red and white checkered picnic blanket, you know, the one that still has the corner ripped from the last picnic when an earthquake started and 4 evil teletubbies emerged from the cracking ground saying: "oh ooh", and offered some Tubby custard to go with the big giant mushroom.
RRRRIIINNNGGGGG!!!!! Suddenly the alarm bell rang wich woke up the master of thlepaty! He wasnt too happy and started mummling something about pink custard.
But wait. There was something else. The air was filling with a loud noice that sounded like two rabid Wildabeasts engaged in some spring-time lolly jolly, which if you really think about it shouldn't be in a story like this.
At that point, the master of thelepaty opened his Large book and said "a whole lot of nothing going on".
So he immediately jumped right back in bed and told the racoon to tell him a story so he can fall asleep again, and the racoon replied: " Get your lazy butt out of bed and help me find some papplons to eat".
It was not the behaviour of the raccoon that made him realize what path he had to walk, but the small whispering voice in the back of his mind, reminding him of why he was here.
It all goes back to to his training when his master told him my son, beware of the racoon-eating six-headed chupacabra, for it will ask you for dinner! But in the meantime the easter bunny comes in yelling something about his long fogotten son, who is actually his father but the seven holy flowers had nothing to do with the lump of cheese jumping around, because they smell completely different.
You could say that the cheese was bought from a 78 year old dwarf purveyor of "Fine Olde Worlde Cheese", and not from Interflora. By the way, the Dwarf also has a fine range of Grandma's Black Gravey that was 70-years old and very valuable because you could craft a pile of crap that taste like fresh-cut spring grass with a hint of lemon.
But it sure doens't look like those fancy grass dinners u often see on television. This all took less then a second for the raccon to realize and he ...
Keep it coming guys
