funny joke :D

[sob]

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator,looks up and see this HUGE black guy standing next to him.
The black guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says:
"7 ft 2 inches,tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis,3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle,Turner Brown."
The white man faints dead away and falls to the floor.
The black guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.
The big fellow says, "What's wrong with you?"
In a weak voice the little guy says, "What did you say to me again?"
The man says, "I saw the way you were looking at me so I figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.
I'm 7' 2" tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my
left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds
and my name is Turner Brown."
The little guy says, "Turner Brown? Thank God!
I thought you said 'Turn Around'!"

originaly posted at our soc forum

 

[Lykke]

My contribution:

New Priest In Town

There was an old, bald priest who got sick of all the people in his parish confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"

Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say instead that they had 'fallen.'

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well until the priest passed away at a ripe old age.

A few days after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.

"Mayor, you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep telling me they've fallen."

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. But, before he could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at him and shouted, "I don't know what you're laughing about, because your wife has fallen three times this week!"

 

[Nicole]

Bought jokes are really really good thank you for sharing

 

[snow]

AMAZING ANAGRAMS

Dormitory == Dirty Room

Desperation == A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code == Here Come Dots

Slot Machines == Cash Lost in 'em

Animosity == Is No Amity

Snooze Alarms == Alas! No More Z's

Alec Guinness == Genuine Class

Semolina == Is No Meal

The Public Art Galleries == Large Picture Halls, I Bet

A Decimal Point == I'm a Dot in Place

The Earthquakes == That Queer Shake

Eleven plus two == Twelve plus one

Contradiction == Accord not in it

This one's amazing: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare]

To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

Becomes:

In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.

And the grand finale:

"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." -- Neil A. Armstrong

becomes:

A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!






LIVE FAST,DIE YOUNG , LEAVE A BEAUTIFUL CORPSE BEHIND !!!