Twas the Night before Christmas (poem dedicated to my soc mates)

[Gwen Ryuunami]

This poem was written about and dedicated to my society mates at Calypso Settlers society. Merry Christmas and happy holidays...

and I couldn't find a word that rhymes with Rocket launcher

~
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the net.
The Ubers were looking for action to get.

Echo and Raven and Davina too
Crept into the auction with fingers of glue
They raided the tt's they stole all the guns
Then lead a parade of Atrox
Through Joy's tp run

Gwennie was scheming with Boa and Row
They tied Fredy with ribbons then topped him with a bow.

Then Echo caught Maela, and dragged her away
He and Raven had plans, needed her for the bait
Stand in front of a Hogglo, then hold still and wait

Sure then Maela will die, but then they have more loot
While the Piggy is chewing, they'll give it the boot

But then Joy got angry, she was wearing a frown
Forget the Hogglos, quick lets shoot her down!

The battle ran over the wide open tundra
Joy came to rescue Maela and stomp Echo under

Meanwhile Gwennie was mining, and discovered loot
And Row wanted her zinc, wait there he was enroute
But the battle passed Gwennie, she jumped into the frey
"I've been itching to fight! I've been waiting all day!"

Then Joy, Echo and Raven swung down into neas
Where Boa was sweating, with Fredy and White
All three stopped to watch the spectacular fight

Back and forth through the Ambu Calsettlers rumbled
Scaredy Echo and Raven, Joy and Maela disgruntled
Gwennie was happy to get out there and fight,
And would Echo mind if he had a wing girl that night?

As the clock it neared midnight the ammo ran out
There arose from the Mobs, the lone figure froze the bout
Dave entered the scene with a angry loud shout!
He was dressed up like santa, he even had the mask
But he spoke before any could of his good health ask

"Row said you were fighting
I'm not at all happy!

"Thanks to your mischief Echo and Ubers in tow
The nOObs are all sad and sappy you know
Now you're covered in ouchies, Fredy please start fapping
Gwennie move out of the way, or I'll give you a whapping
Give Rowdoc your zinc and head home for the night
I don't want to hear you didn't get to fight
Raven please untie maela, her feet fell asleep
Give me back that rifle, that's not yours to keep!

Davina please give me that ho go lo steak
You snuck into my shop and my shelf you break
To get the tagging sniper, and new rocket launcher
Go bother the octogon with your destruction
Or skill with White in crafting and construction

"Joy please calm down, your nOObs finished their trip
I scared off the atrox with pistol and whip

"Now that the brawl is over
Its time for you to sleep
So MA alias Santa
His timetable can keep

When you wake in the morning you'll all have neat gifts
They aren't worth very much, but your spirits they'll lift

Now I have work to do, I must fix my shop
Before Christmas Champgane at PA doth pop"

But he told all the Settlers as he walked out of sight

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goo....... oh who the hell am I kidding, after that you're all on the naughty list. No gifts for you! Goodnight!"

 

[Chopper]

Nice work indeed

Here's a version that I performed at a Christmas Show when I was at College, oh so many years ago...

The Night Before Christmas
Neighbourhood Watch Version



‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung
From the chimney with care
In hope that St. Nicholas
Soon would be there.

And Ma in her nightgown
And me in my cap
Had just settled down
For a long winter’s nap

When on the roof
There arose such a clatter
That I got out of bed
To see what was the matter

But first I reached out
For the gun by my bed
To pump the intruder’s
Gut full of lead.

I crept down through the kitchen
And on to the lawn
Those housebreaking bastards
Had seen their last dawn.

And out in the moon-light
Seven shadows I saw.
There was no time for thinking -
I dropped to the floor

"Bang Bang Bang Bang"
"Bang Bang" and "Bang"
Through the still winter’s night
My bold twelve bore sang.

And down from the roof
Fell the seven dead crooks.
I crossed over the drive
To take a good look.

Six reindeer it was,
And a fat guy in red.
A strange bunch of villains,
But now they were dead.

So I went back to bed
Full of Christmas good cheer.
I’d helped keep our neighbourhood
Kids free from fear.