DJ's Dad

dj.

Marauder
Joined
Aug 10, 2005
Posts
5,685
Location
CarlsbergVille
Society
Freelancer
Avatar Name
Dejay dj Jaguar
...and so, another episode of my life unfolds;

My father is dying, consumed by cancer.

My blogs have so far contained life as a child, as an adult, but for life to continue, then it must contain death.

I have some vague recollection of my brother breaking the news to me.
I cannot remember it totally as I collapsed from shock.
It is a shock.

For now, I want to be alone, in-fact EU is a blessing.
My life consists of doing my chores as quickly as possible, then hiding myself away at home, logging into EU, browsing EF and sleeping..alot.

My dreams are nightmares, I dream of tall buildings that I have climbed, then they collapse, and I fall, I presume to my death..but awaken before it happens.

My journey continues, and I cant hide from it.
My mother cant drive, therefore I now have to drive my father to the hospital for biopsy's and treatment.

Im going to watch my father wither, get weaker, suffer and eventually die.

And I have no option NOT to.

Lets face it, Im not alone, cancer or not.. we all watch our parents get older, wither and die.

Part of life.

Im not looking forward to this part..NOT at all.

:(
 
My Grandfather died this past April. Not the same as a Father, but he was the first person I was at all close to that has died. It happened days before my 30th birthday.

He was in the hospital for a brief time with a long list of health problems. When he was first admitted, he had a heart attack, but the doctors didn't tell him so as not to worry him into another heart attack. He lived very far from me, so I couldn't visit him. I called him on the phone. He was in such great spirits. He didn't know he was dying, but I did. That was the hardest phone conversation I ever had.

At the funeral, standing over his grave with my father, I feel I finally became a man. All the moments in my life previous were unimportant in comparison to witnessing the grief and celebration of life that followed my Grandfathers death.

I am a better and stronger person now because of it. Death is one of the things that defines us as human. I hope your experience becomes a growing one as well, and that there will be some benefit to a terrible experience.

My condolences.
 
Back
Top