Tell me a story

atomicstorm

Slayer
Joined
Aug 21, 2013
Posts
8,972
Location
Blockchain
Avatar Name
MeLoveYou LongTime FiveDolla
Bored stiff at work.. have narcolepsy but stopped taking meds for it (long story).. so i can just feel the crash coming.

Tell me a clever story. Keep my head from having qwerty impressed in it.
 
This legend involves a man who checked into a hotel for a few nights. After he obtained his room key, the woman at the front desk warned him that there was a door with no number on the way to his room. She explained that the locked room was used for storage, and she also warned him not to go into the room, or even look inside. The man, although intrigued, went straight to his room without asking any more questions. But by the second night, his curiosity had got the better of him. He tried turning the door knob, but found it to be locked, just as the woman had claimed. Not to be deterred so easily, the man proceeded to peep through the keyhole. Beyond the door was what looked like a normal hotel room, exactly like his own. However, in the corner stood a very pale woman with her head resting against the wall opposite the door. Confused, the man returned to his room.On the third day, the man decided to look through the keyhole once more. This time, all he saw was the color red—nothing else, just a constant, deep shade of red. Maybe the woman had suspected that someone was spying on her and had blocked it with something. The man decided that he would ask the woman at the front desk. She sighed and asked if the man had looked through the keyhole. After he confirmed that he had, the woman proceeded to tell him the whole story. Many years ago, she said, a man had murdered his wife in that very room, and her ghost now haunts it. Her ghost is said to be very pale, except for her eyes, which are bloodshot red.

:girl:
 
Very good :)

3 hours to go.. took a 5 hour liquid turpentine er .. energy. Bad thing is caffeine does nothing to my state of alertness. :( Buying alertness skill implant.
 
And then ... the slice of bread fell to the floor, which of course landed butter-side down. Woe spread across the land with the speed of lightning. Tears were shed. Children alternated between staring and turning away in horror. Hamster wheels halted in mid revolution, whilst virgins leaped into the volcano knowing that all hope was lost. But then our hero, both brave and wise, cried out "5 second rule !" and snatched victory back for all mankind. And the village elders, knowing that there can never be perfection in victory, agreed that it was best to ignore the cat hair stuck to the butter side of the slice of bread.
 
Everyone loves a little pussy hair with their toast
 
3 China-men were sitting around playing Fan-tan...someone runs up and says "the world is coming to and end!...What are you gonna do?"

Well, the first one says "I am gonna go to the mission and pray"

The second one says "I am gonna get me a case of Mezcal and 6 whores"

But the third one, he says "I am gonna finish the game."

Well, doc, that's what I am gonna do...I am gonna finish the game.

Yeee-haw!
 
OMG....this thread is great.

I think I was in that bar too!
 
A narco, a necro, a pyro, a clepto, and a nympho walk into a bar....

Nympho sits at the bar first and asks bartender for one screw, then shortly after her, pyro sits down and asks for a blue blazer. Meanwhile, narco tries to approach the bar but suddenly falls asleep on the floor and clepto without a second thought starts cleaning out narco's pockets. Necro being a helpful guy quickly went to narco's side to check his pulse and said nothing to clepto.



I can't think more :silly2:
 
Once upon a time there was a landlord of a pub (that is bar to you Yankees). He worked long hard hours and listened to all the conversations of the patrons of his establishment. There was one group of customers about the landlords age who he became friendly with. They were great people but every now and then half the group would start muttering in a strange language, similar to English but accompanied by many other words the landlord did not understand like, ped, prot, levi, argo, other words sounded like names Port Atlantis, Treasure Island, and Twin Peaks.

The landlord initially ignored these ramblings as he was quite used to people talking rubbish after a few pints of fine ale. Eventually after a few years of this the landlord's curiosity got the better of him and he asked one of his friends "So what is this secret code half of you talk in ?", "Oh that, that's the game. " "the game ?" questioned the landlord, "Yes" replied his friend "Project Entropia", "so what is that all about ?" the landlord asked, his friend went on to outline the concept of the game, when he had finished the landlord, wiped the table, picked up the friends empty glass and said "sounds like a load of crap to me and a complete waste of time and money", the friend just sighed, he had heard it all before.

I am the landlord and now the most active member of my society
 
Now I'm curious which pub...is it in Bristol? Maybe I've been :)
 
Charlie Chaplin once entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest in Monte Carlo and came in third; that's a story.
 
Once upon a time there was a landlord of a pub (that is bar to you Yankees). He worked long hard hours and listened to all the conversations of the patrons of his establishment. There was one group of customers about the landlords age who he became friendly with. They were great people but every now and then half the group would start muttering in a strange language, similar to English but accompanied by many other words the landlord did not understand like, ped, prot, levi, argo, other words sounded like names Port Atlantis, Treasure Island, and Twin Peaks.

The landlord initially ignored these ramblings as he was quite used to people talking rubbish after a few pints of fine ale. Eventually after a few years of this the landlord's curiosity got the better of him and he asked one of his friends "So what is this secret code half of you talk in ?", "Oh that, that's the game. " "the game ?" questioned the landlord, "Yes" replied his friend "Project Entropia", "so what is that all about ?" the landlord asked, his friend went on to outline the concept of the game, when he had finished the landlord, wiped the table, picked up the friends empty glass and said "sounds like a load of crap to me and a complete waste of time and money", the friend just sighed, he had heard it all before.

I am the landlord and now the most active member of my society

Awesome story!

It reminds me...about 4 years ago, at my brothers house in a town about an hour north of Chicago, there was an adjacent property that backed up to his.

We were a little older, but the guy that lived in that adjacent house and his 2 roommates were all younger, 21-24ish...occasionally they would stop by and have some beers, but I never got to know them very well.

Well, a few months went by and one day I showed up at my brothers and realized that those guys had moved out, and the place was being foreclosed.

When I asked my brother what happened, he said "I dunno, all I heard is that they lost all their money playing a video game", but he never remembered anyone mentioning the name of the video game. (my brother wasn't even aware that this game existed at the time, because I never even told him I played til I showed him the Eomon ATH and the comic years later, and yes, even though he thought it was awesome he still thinks I am a huge nerd :) )

Needless to say, our conversations before they left never got around to video games...I wish they did...and I always wondered what it was. I was never able to figure out what game they played....it could have been poker....or even online stocks, but the fact that the rumor around the neighborhood said they lost all their money to a video game makes me wonder to this day if it was EU.

I have never been able to ask them, because none of us ever got phone number or a forwarding address for them, and we haven't seen them around town since then either.
 
Last edited:
Now I'm curious which pub...is it in Bristol? Maybe I've been :)

Kitty - yes indeed the pub is in Bristol - it is the Shakespeare in Totterdown which is a music pub that I ran for 8 years
 
Awesome story!

It reminds me...about 4 years ago, at my brothers house in a town about an hour north of Chicago, there was an adjacent property that backed up to his.

We were a little older, but the guy that lived in that adjacent house and his 2 roommates were all younger, 21-24ish...occasionally they would stop by and have some beers, but I never got to know them very well.

Well, a few months went by and one day I showed up at my brothers and realized that those guys had moved out, and the place was being foreclosed.

When I asked my brother what happened, he said "I dunno, all I heard is that they lost all their money playing a video game", but he never remembered anyone mentioning the name of the video game. (my brother wasn't even aware that this game existed at the time, because I never even told him I played til I showed him the Eomon ATH and the comic years later, and yes, even though he thought it was awesome he still thinks I am a huge nerd :) )

Needless to say, our conversations before they left never got around to video games...I wish they did...and I always wondered what it was. I was never able to figure out what game they played....it could have been poker....or even online stocks, but the fact that the rumor around the neighborhood said they lost all their money to a video game makes me wonder to this day if it was EU.

I have never been able to ask them, because none of us ever got phone number or a forwarding address for them, and we haven't seen them around town since then either.


It's a small world and a smaller Universe :)

Perhaps it's better you don't find out, not knowing is probably better than discovering it was something as boring as online poker - great story
 
Back
Top