The Cockney Alphabet
A for Horses
’ay for ’orses.
B for Mutton
Beef or Mutton.
C for ’th Highlanders
Seaforth Highlanders, a Scots regiment. Jan has “C for miles” which is good but, as I clearly remember the other one, this is strong evidence that there was more than one version around. Another is “C for yourself.”
D for ’ential
Deferential. I always knew it as D for Dumb (Deaf or Dumb). Phil has D(eath) or Glory which is also plausible.
E for Adam
Eve or Adam. Jan has “Heave a Brick” Any votes fo Eva Peron which I have seen quoted?
F for Essence
Effervescence.
G for Police
Chief of Police.
H for Respect
Age for Respect. Another possibility is "H for Consent" (Age of Consent) but that may have been to risqué at the time. Jan provided this one, neither Geoff or I were happy with the alternatives.
I for Novello
Ivor Novello, a musical impresario, perhaps later “Ivor the engine,” a children’s book. “I for Looting" (High Falutin (?sp)) has been suggested.
J for Oranges
Jaffa Oranges, a treat after wartime rationing but were they around before?
K for ’ancis
Kay Francis—a film star. Jan has “Café or Restaurant.” or perhaps Cafeteria. Wikipedia has the alternative "K for Undressing" but I don’t like it at all.
L for Leather
’ell for Leather, running fast.
M for Sis
Emphasis, I heard it as “Emva Cream”, a British sweet fortified wine but this is better.
N for Dig
Infradig. Jan has “Envelope.”
O for the Garden Wall
Over the Garden Wall. I knew it as "O for the Wings of a Dove", a popular song at the time. Alternatively “Over the Rainbow”.
P for Penny
A cue for the straight man of the duo to respond “Yes, I’ll pass that.”. On the same theme, Jan has “Pee for Relief.”
Q for a Song
I knew it as “Queue for Everything,” a wartime rationing phenomenon. Good alternatives Geoff suggests are “Cue for billiards”. Jan has “Queue for a Bus.”
R for Askey
’Arfer Askey, a radio comedian, or one that Arthur would have loved is “’Arf a Mo” i.e. “Just a Minute.”
S for You
‘As (or It’s) for You”—another banter cue, the response being “As for you, too.” Jan prefers “Esther Williams,” the Million Dollar Mermaid, a film star and athlete.
T for Two
Tea for Two, a popular song. Another one I have seen is “Teeth or Gums.”
U for Me
You for Me, the next line in the song. Alternatively “UFA Films,” A German WWI and WWII propaganda organisation which was a respected film company between the wars. “U for Ear” (Euphoria) is another good one.
V for France
Vive La France. I had “V for Victory” but I’m outvoted
W for Quid
“Double you for a quid”, (“quid” is slang for a pound sterling, or bob—a shilling) a betting risk. Another possibility is “Double or Quits,” a last ditch bet. I heard it as “Double y’r money”, an early TV game show but this was probably a later change
X for Breakfast
Eggs for Breakfast
Y for Husband
Wife or Husband or alternatively Wife or Mistress. “Y-fronts” is probably a later version. The Clapham and Dwyer version is apparently “Y for Gawd's sake” which is a bit weak.
Z for Breezes
Zephyr Breezes (or Winds). Alternatively Zephyr Zodiac, a car by Ford, perhaps also a later change