Jokes

mastermesh

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In honor of Vortexy's Diary perhaps it's time we had a thread dedicated to jokes to lighten the mood around here a bit. ;)

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source
"An intellectual came to check in on a friend who was seriously ill. When the man's wife said that he had 'departed,' the intellectual replied: 'When he arrives back, will you tell him that I stopped by?'"
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Why'd the Orange stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.
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TheRock

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what you call a teen chineese pristitute?







_______________________________






SUM YUNG HO
:dunno:
 

Haruto Rat

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If you hear that prostitutes at some remote Northern location are paid thousands of bucks per night... there's one little caveat you need to consider before jumping on the opportunity.
 

Spacejanitor

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Some of you might get this, some of you wont. ( Attract her or A tractor) :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: Enjoy ♥

 

Fortuona

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So, I was having lunch with the Planet Calypso Chess champion. Everything was good but the table cloth was checkered color and it took him 30 minutes to pass the salt!
 

San

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Masochist: "Beat me!"

Sadist: "No."
 

JohnCapital

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Two guys walk into a bar.
The third one ducks.
 
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A guys goes to the library

- "I wonder if you have that book about small penises?"
- "I don`t think it`s in yet"
- "Yes! That one!"
 

Lefty

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Thorns Rose

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Ok..Here goes

You have no idea how long it took me to post this joke..Lefty broke the thread..me thinks. :laugh:



I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any. :eyecrazy::laugh:
 

TheRock

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Legendary old one which makes me laugh each time i read it :LOL:
Here we go


A n00b decides to go atrox hunting on amethera.
After a little bit of searching he finds one, slowly aims his opalo, and BANG! he shoots the atrox and it falls down.

Not 2 seconds later he gets a tap on the shoulder, he turns around to find the atrox standing right in front of him.
The atrox says "look mate, that really hurt, so I'm gonna give u 2 choices, either i rip you to shreds, or i bumfuck you" so the n00b thinks, o shit what should i do?, but seen as he does not want to die he lets the atrox bumfuck him.

Afterwards he's really pissed off about the atrox incident, so he runs back to the auction, buys a Starkhov AS-147 and goes out in search to kill that same atrox.

He finds the atrox he's looking for with 2 other atroxes, so BANG BANG BANG! he shoots all 3 of them and they fall to the floor, yet only 2 seconds later he is tapped on the shoulder, he turns around to find the 3 atroxes standing in front of him, so the first atrox says "alright mate, that hurt the 3 of us, so you've got 2 choices, we bumfuck you, or we rip you to shreds" so once again the n00b who doesn't want to die lets them bumfuck him.

So now the n00b is really really pissed off, so he goes back to the auction, buys an Improved A-3 Justifier Mk.II and goes off in search for those 3 atroxes.

He comes across them in a whole pack of ten atroxes, he aims the A-3, shoots a salvo and the atroxes blow up. But once again he is tapped on the shoulder, he turns around to face the 10 atroxes behind him, the first one says " look mate, just between you and me, you're not really in this for the hunting are you?
 
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