SPACE PORN A Rollicking (maybe fictional) adventure

[Ranavolana]

Chapter 1

THE EVIL MANIFESTS

It had been a busy week on the MS Titanic. It was the most powerful capital ship in the EUVerse boasting many levels of SI and crewed by loyal and skilled minions.

Lord Foppington and Lady Godiva having done many good and charitable deeds such as transporting needy refugees and delivering much needed supplies to starving orphans,(all at great cost to themselves), were chillin, taking a well deserved break.

In an atmosphere of laid back smugness they were streaming dickpics and other interesting stuff. But sadly they had not bothered to post lookouts.

Why would they need to! – The Titanic was unsinkable, what could possibly go wrong?

Suddenly Kablam !!! The Titanic lurched & shuddered to a stop. Amidst screaming alarms & much hysteria Lady Godiva struggled to a scanner and beheld a horrendous scene.

It was not an iceberg, it was much worse!!

 

[Ranavolana]

Chapter 2

THE BANNERS OF DARKNESS ARE BOLDLY UNFURLED

There dead ahead was an ominous hulking mass. Certainly no iceberg it was a capital ship.

It was a Pirate Capital Ship. It had set off a warp mine that had crippled the Titanic and now was sending well directed plasma fire that cut through the Titanic’s defenses like a hot knife through butter.

“Help Oh Help me Lord Foppington” wailed Lady Godiva as she ineffectually tried to repair the rapidly mounting damage.

It looked awfully likely she was going to suffer a fate worse than death at the grubby paws of the leering pirates.

But Foppington had other concerns. “Egad” he exclaimed”! “I am holding my entire stock of pills in my inventory.

“I so need their assistance to ensure I can maintain my eminent position as having the highest level of Autism in Entropia”

“Those Pirates will loot them for sure” he wailed.

But Foppington was no fool. Quick as a wink he stuffed his fingers in his ears and closed his eyes.

“If I cannot see them, it stands to reason they cannot see me”

………….

………

……..

After what he felt was a sufficient length of time he opened his eyes and

Blam! Blam! Blam! “Oh shi..” he was able to exclaim.

He had forgotten about the patience of pirates

 

[Ranavolana]

Chapter 3

DIVINE INTERVENTION!

It was indeed dark times for the Titanic and friends. Now a crippled wreck, it floated forlornly at the Space Station, its dispirited crew listening to the sound of drunken pirates celebrating on the radio.

It seemed all was lost but suddenly!! A heavenly choir was heard and a company of angels appeared (well two anyway). The angels quickly restored the Titanic to its former glory.

Who says that the Righteous are not rewarded

Quickly Lord Foppington & Lady Godiva steered Titanic to where the Pirates were partying .

There was going to be some retribution handed down – but there was this worry. Would they be strong enough?

After all the Pirated had quickly and efficiently neutralized the Titanic before – granted they had the advantage of surprise …. But even so

Suddenly BowwowBow wow yapyapyapyap. It was loyal and true blue Frosty Geode the Snowflake!!

Frosty the vanquisher of Forum Trolls and the scourge of Pirates generally, was racing to his master & mistresses defense.

Together without delay or warning they now fell on the hapless Pirates, dealing out hot payback & destruction.

“Well fk us sideways with a shovel” the Pirates whimpered “We never expected this” before they and their evil Pirate ships were vaporized.

The Pirates were removed from the EUVerse!

Lord Foppinton got his supplies of Viagra and Prozac and Monkey Gland back!

Lady Godiva did not lose her virtue (nobody is suggesting she had none to lose, rather that for all their vulgarity, Pirates are true gentlemen & would NEVER take advantage of helpless females)!!

Sadly though Frosty was taken to the vet. His loyalty was unquestioned but his rather exuberant displays of affection were becoming irritating. How could

there be private meetings to discuss important stuff when frosty was scampering around humping everybody's legs. Its not as if he really needs nuts

or even a backbone, his masters decided - his loyalty would be enough.

The threat to the EUVerse was removed & everything could now get back to normal

But could it? For all the Titanic’s vaunted strength it did not fare that well against the effective fire of a small band of pirates.

There was a problem with truth in advertising though. All that talk about the many levels of SI & the extra safety that gave to the Titanic, was sort of

meaningless though as Pirates had shown that all that did not make much practical difference. But leaving things to Lord Foppington, there is no doubt that

he could solve that problem, probably something that involved many (in fact a great deal of) words.

What does the future hold?