Vortexy's Diary

Vortexy

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Starting a new diary online as I guess will be logging in most of the time. :cool:

First posting will be an introduction of myself. Male, 28 from Malaysia. Married with 1 daughter and another one 'in process' expecting in August 2006. Wife grumbles a lot about me playing online games buy explained to her that PE is different from Warcraft, C&C or Counter Strike. :D WE have the potential of adding $$$ in this game.

Played this game like a year ago (but first six month was like twice a week logging in). Completed mentorship in 3 months under Colonel Crazy B (damn good mentor and generous fella). Currently got nearly 20 disciples but so far only 1 completed (also in Jurai Blood) and all I got was a Frean Alpha ME. lol. Those above 50% I invested a lot (giving free unused rifles, amps, etc). To date got another 2 potential but the rest are looking quite bleak.... sigh..

Job position is in management but pay sux. Planning to go into the cloth business soon (anyone here from Dubai?). :)

Anyway that is all for today. As my sister always say, "Seized the day" or Carpe Diem in French (I think). :)
 

Vortexy

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Sunday January 22, 2006

Today got a new disciple. Yippee!!!!! :clap: Trinn Doe, also from this forum. Hope that he will be a good disciple as my success factor is now 1 out of 10 in mentorship. To date only Tarjan Armin from Jurai Blood have ever successfully completed his mentorship.

Also added a new pic as my avatar (a picture of a kitten sniping). REminds me of counter strike but should be applicable to PE also. :D

[br]Click to enlarge[/br]

Sunday is usually family day so not logging into PE, but only EF. :D Tomorrow will be another 4 - 6 hours session of PE. Need a global as the last one was like 3 days away already.

Sigh.. still looking for a regular buyer for tailoring crap for 115%. Too many of em already fed to the tt machine. CLearing out my storage as already got the red noticed (even though the items have yet to reach 500). Selling all the noob stuff and getting disciples to pass them free armors and weapons. :silly2:

Will start a custom of leaving the diary with a joke. After all, laughter is the best medicine. :D

Liar


"That wife of mine is a liar," said the angry husband
to a sympathetic pal seated next to him at the bar.

"How do you know?" the friend asked.

"She didn't come home last night, and when I asked her
where she'd been, she said that she had spent the night
with her sister, Shirley. And I know that's a lie because
I spent the night with her sister, Shirley."
 
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Vortexy

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Sunday Night, January 22, 2006

It is 9pm at Malaysia now. Watching TV with daughter before going to sleep. Will take this opportunity to thank those that gave me reps... and to 'inform' me that Carpe Diem is actually Latin. :D

Will be hunting tomorrow morning (that is what gets me going to work every day these days). Since in management, can play PE whenever I like. :laugh: Secretary giving me the evil eye though. :rolleyes:

Wife asking me to go for trips... Kinda low on cash so have to rethink which destination. :( Was thinking of Germany, but the Euro now is like 4 Ringgit Malaysia to 1 Euro.

As usual, signing off with a joke to keep you all healthy.

The Elevator

A Kentucky family took a vacation to New York City.
One day, the father took his son into a rather large
building; they were amazed by everything they saw --
especially the elevator at one end of the lobby.

The boy asked, "What's this, Paw?" The father responded,
"Son I have never seen anything like this in my life,
I don't know what it is!"

While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed
astonishment, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up
to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls
opened and the lady rolled between them into a small
room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched
small circles of lights above the walls light up. They
continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse
direction. The walls opened again, and a voluptuous
24-year-old woman stepped out.

The father turned to his son and said, "Go get your
Maw."
 

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Monday, January 23, 2006

Monday morning are the worst to get up. Managed to reach office and played PE for like 15 minutes before logging off to check company emails. Waiting for my new disciple to show up at Billy's so logging in every 30 minutes (Getting a disciple in the forum is harder than I thought!). :D

Looks like PE is heading for a recession after the last economy boom (same system as other countries). Price now are steady (before it hits rock bottom again) from the previous steep increase.

Weather in South East Asia is wet and cold (kinda miss my wife at these moments). :silly2:

Prank Sex Call

A telephone rings in a Brooklyn apartment and the lady
of the house answers. "Huh-lowww", she says in a very
nasally drawn-out Brooklyn accent.

Through the receiver comes several seconds of heavy
breathing. Finally a husky man's voice on the other
end says, "I'm going to lick every inch of your body
until you quiver. Then I'm going to run my hands all
over every curve of your body and make you ache for
me. You're going to beg me not to stop. You'll want
me to touch you in places you've never been touched
before, and then you will want me so badly you will
rip the clothes from your body as you scream for me
to take you. I'll have my way with you and you will
LIKE it!!"

The woman is silent for a moment and quizzically asks
the caller, "You can get all that from 'hello'?"
 

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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Dragged myself to office. THe only consolation is being able to play PE during office hours. :D

Todate still looking for a few person.


  • Trin doe (future disciple) that have yet to meet up


  • Sob who was looking for wools


  • Carebear who successfully negotiated a deal on 3 gnome parts

Looks like making a deal via a forum is harder to seal than I thought! :eek:

Got a esto global today (miserable 50 pedder), but lost overall (like 200 over peds). damn! :mad:

Anyway hope for a better day tomorrow.

Doberman and the Chihuahua

There's a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with
a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says
to the guy with a Chihuahua, "Let's go over to that
restaurant and get something to eat."

The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there.
We've got dogs with us." The guy with the Doberman
Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead." They walk over
to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher
puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk
in. A guy at the door says, "Sorry, Mac, no pets allowed."

The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't
understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The guy at
the door says, "A Doberman Pinscher?" He says, "Yes,
they're using them now, they're very good." The guy
at the door says, "Come on in." The guy with the Chihuahua
figures, "What the hell," so he puts on a pair of dark
glasses and starts to walk in.

The guy at the door says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand.
This is my seeing-eye dog." The guy at the door says,
"A Chihuahua?" The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You
mean they gave me a Chihuahua?"
 

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Thursday, January 26, 2006

FINALLY! After 3 days of searching finally met Trinn Doe my new disciple (met in this forum). After giving him a set of armor, axe 1x0 and some peds, he immediately went hunting. :cool:

Life in the real world is slowing down (due to the festive season - Chinese NEw Year). Malaysia will have a 2 days public holiday. Yipeee!!! :beerchug:

Ever since Dr Burton died, the loot is VERY bad. On average was losing like 100 - 150 peds every 2 hours of hunting/mining. Badly need a global soon. :(


Evening Bath

It was time for Father John's Saturday evening bath
and young sister Magdalene Edwards had prepared the
bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed.
Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at
Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever
he told her to, and pray.

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene
how the Saturday night bath had gone. "Oh, sister,"
said the young nun dreamily. "I've been saved."

"Saved? And how did that fine thing come about?" asked
the old nun.

"Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked
me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided
my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord
keeps the Key to Heaven."

"Did he now," said the old nun evenly.

Sister Magdalene continued, "And Father John said that
if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven
would be opened to me and I would be assured of salvation
and eternal peace and then Father John guided his Key
of Heaven into my lock."

"Is that a fact," said the old nun more evenly.

"At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the
pathway to salvation was often painful and that the
glory of God would soon swell my heart with ecstasy.
And it did, it felt so good being saved."

"That wicked old Devil," said the old nun. "He told
me it was Gabriel's Horn, and I've been blowing it for
40 years!"
 

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Friday, January 27, 2006

Phew! Weekend finally here. Wont be playing PE for 5 days though as celebrating festival. :(

Anyway loot seems a bit bad these days. Below is the best loot I got today (after playing 8 hours!)

[br]Click to enlarge[/br]

Hope to do better after the festive season. Till then... Carpe Diem! :laugh:

Nuclear Power

A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane
when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said,
"Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker
if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed
it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you
like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear
power?"

"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting
topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse,
a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet
a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out
a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass.
Why do you suppose that is?"

"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."

"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you
feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't
know shit?"
 

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Saturday, January 28, 2006

It is now Saturday night. Just attended a funeral. My wife's cousin died of brain tumor. Made me realised just how fragile our life is. :rolleyes:



No PE today as spending time with wife and kid. Yesterday managed to meet Carebear. :D

[br]Click to enlarge[/br]


Might sneak a few hours to play PE tomorrow. :silly2:

To the Chinese community all over the world, "Happy Chinese New Year!" :beerchug:

Iraqi Ambassador

The Iraqi Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving
a speech, and walked out into the lobby where he met
President Bush. They shook hands, and as they walked
the Iraqi said, "You know, I have just one question
about what I have seen in America."

President Bush said, "Well, anything I can do to help
you, I will."

The Iraqi whispered "My son watches this show 'Star
Trek' and in it there is Chekov who is Russian, Scotty
who is Scottish, and Sulu who is Chinese, but no Iraqis.
My son is very upset and doesn't understand why there
aren't any Iraqis on Star Trek."

President Bush laughed, leaned toward the Iraqi ambassador,
and whispered back, "It's because it takes place in
the future . . . ."
 
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Points To Ponder



Something to share with my fellow friends. (Feel like the chicken soup book) :D

NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"

The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.



CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, and good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.


NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations...



RIGHT SPEECH

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party. >


A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.


PERSONAL PERCEPTION


Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them rides on the donkey?" Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."

The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear...



BE PATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "But when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired... Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

 

Vortexy

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Sunday, January 29, 2006

Wooo... Sunday is here. Thank god the next three days is public holidays (so can enjoy Sunday without thinking of Monday). :silly2: I like Sundays cause that is when the time spent with my wife and daughter counts (quality not quantity). When a you ar a bachelor, you would dread a married life (with all the constraints and all). However, once you ARE married, you cant think of living without your lovely wife and kid. (Might post a pic of myself - still thinking about it). Saw a few other forumers under ultima babes thread posting their pics. Nice :)

Anyway might be logging in this evening just to check auction and try to ge a global (my last one was 1 week ago!). :( I can sense a 100k HoF coming VERY soon.)

[br]Click to enlarge[/br]


Golf Injury

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday
morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched
in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome
of men playing the next hole.

Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately
clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the
ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began
to apologize. She explained that she was a physical
therapist: "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical
therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd
allow me!", she told him earnestly.

"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be alright...I'll be fine
in a few minutes", he replied breathlessly as he remained
in the fetal position still clasping his hands together
at his crotch.

But she persisted, and finally allowed her to help him.
She gently took his hands away an laid them to the side,
she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside.
She began to massage him. She then asked him: "How
does that feel?"

To which he replied: "It feels great, but my thumb
still hurts like hell."
 

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Funny Pics to Share

What to do when you have done something bad....

[br]Click to enlarge[/br]

What NOT to do after scoring a goal!

[br]Click to enlarge[/br]

When interspecies mate... :silly2:

[br]Click to enlarge[/br]

More will come. :D PM me if you think this is funny/nice or just a waste of bandspace. All remarks/comments are welcome.
 

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Pets At PE?

What an avatar should be able to do with its pets

[br]Click to enlarge[/br]

What pets are able to do in future? :laugh:

[br]Click to enlarge[/br]
 

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Monday, 30 January 2006

Today is a sad day for my society, Jurai Blood. We lost a good man to Shaolin soc due to some 'ladies'. Sigh. This just goes to prove that my posting on Sunday, 29th Jan 2006 proves to be correct. :(

Today lost another 300 peds hunting estos. Looks like loot was a bit bad today. However, a few lucky guys got ubers. Congrats to them! :beerchug:


Stolen Horse

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for
a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit
of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished
his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.

He goes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into
the air, catches it above his head without even looking
and fires a shot into the ceiling.

"WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE MY HOSS?" he yelled
with surprising forcefulness.

No one answered.

"ALRIGHT, I'M GONNA HAVE ANOTHA BEER, AND IF MY HOSS
AIN'T BACK OUTSIDE BY THE TIME I FINNISH, I'M GONNA
DO WHAT I DUN IN TEXAS! AND I DON'T LIKE TO HAVE TO
DO WHAT I DUN IN TEXAS!"

Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another
beer, walked outside, and his horse is back! He saddles-
up and starts to ride out of town.

The bartender wanders out of the bar and asks, "Say
partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?"

The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."
 

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Happy Chinese New Year to all those who celebrates!

Happy Chinese New Year to all who celebrates it.

 

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Lets be Merry!

Still feeling bumped after the above episode... So posting some funnies to cheer myself up and you guys too.

The Soldier

A soldier was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was
stationed there he received a letter from his girlfriend.
In the letter she wrote that she had slept with two
guys while he had been gone.

She wanted to break up and requested that he send back
her picture.

The soldier did what any squared away man would do:
He went around to all his buddies and collected all
the unwanted photographs of women.

He then mailed about 25 of the pictures to his girlfriend
with the following note: "I'm sorry I can't remember
which one you are, but please take the one that belongs
to you and send the rest back."


[br]Click to enlarge[/br]

Warning : A 'R' rated joke
Inappropriate Question

A housewife is at home when she suddenly hears a knock
on the door. When she opens the door a man asks her
if she has a vagina. The woman slams the door in disbelief
at what a stranger has just asked her.

The same thing happens for three consecutive days and
the woman decides to tell her husband.

The husband says to the wife, "Tomorrow I am not going
to work, and when the man asks if you have a vagina,
say 'yes' and I will be hiding behind the door."

The next day the same man comes again, and when the
woman opens the door he asks if she has a vagina. The
woman says, "Yes".

The man then said, "Good, then please tell your husband
to stop fucking my wife."
 

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006

:D Every forum there will be a sceptic/critic person. So is in this forum
(if you all have been following a few thread, you will know who ;) )

Anyway just logging into EF to check on my sale. Cant log into Pe as yet. :( Need to spend more time with family and friends.

Anyway, todays entry will be short. :D Tomorrow will be hunting at orthos and Limnadian. Hope to get a HoF soon.

Honest Drunk

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where
she selected a quart of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a
quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a
2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt
to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as
she placed the items in front of the cashier. He said,
"You must be single." The woman, a bit startled but
intrigued by the derelict's intuition, looked at her
six items on the belt. Seeing nothing particularly unusual
about her selections she said, "Well, you know what,
you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you
know that?" The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly.
 

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Something To Cheer Us Up!

What mobs at PE needs... :silly2:

[br]Click to enlarge[/br]

Last Rites

A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York
City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators
gathers around.

"A priest. Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasps.
A policeman checks the crowd --- no priest, no minister,
no man of God of any kind.

"A priest, please" the dying man says again.

Then out of the crowd steps a little old Jewish man
of at least eighty years of age.

"Mr. Policeman," says the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm
not even a Catholic. But for fifty years now I'm living
behind St. Elizabeth's Catholic Church on First Avenue,
and every night I'm listening to the Catholic litany.
Maybe I can be of some comfort to this man."

The policeman agreed and brought the octogenarian over
to where the dying man lay. He kneels down, leans over
the injured and says in a solemn voice:

"J-2. I-1. O-27. F-34. I-12. . ."



What mobs in the water should look like.. :silly2:

[br]Click to enlarge[/br]
 

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Wednesday, February 1, 2006

Played PE 5 hours today and only got a 79 pedder Esto Global to show. Sigh. :( Still miss our old kolonel who have gone to the Shaolin. Mining sucks today (lost like 60 peds). Overall even with the global I still lost like 50 peds.

Tomorrow will be another marathon for me. 9 hours straight of playing PE at office. :D

Warning! Joke rated 'R' this time.

Differences

An eight year old boy comes home from school and says
"Daddy! Daddy! What is the difference between a pussy
and a !!!!?"

The dad says, "No, I can't tell you that! You're too
young!"

The son goes, "NO I'm not daddy! Please tell me."

So the father says alright and takes the boy into the
bedroom.

When they walk into the room, the boys mother is fast
asleep.

So the dad pulls back the covers, and like always, the
mother is lying there without any panties on.

The father points in between her legs and says, "You
see that? That's a pussy!"

The son asks, "Oooo! Can I pet it?"

The father replies, "NO! You'll wake up the !!!!!"
 

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Laughter The Best Medicine

Have received some encouraging reviews and comments. As such will continue the tradition. :D

13-PG joke
The Fishing Trip

A young boy and his grandfather went fishing one afternoon,
after a couple of hours of fishing, the grandfather
opened a can of beer, the grandson noticed and asked,
"Grandpa, can I have a sip of your beer?" His grandfather
looked at him and said, "Grandson, Is your penis long
enough to touch your ass?" The grandson replied, "NO!"

"Then you're not old enough.", said the grandfather.

A couple of more hours went by, and the grandfather
lit a cigarette. Again the grandson noticed and asked,
"Grandpa, can I have a cigarette"? The grandfather replied,
"Is your penis long enough to touch your asshole?" Again
the grandson replied, "NO!"

"Well you're not big enough to smoke yet.", said the
grandfather.

About an hour had passed and it began to get late, so
the grandfather decided to pack it up and head for home.
On their way home they stopped at a store, grandpa bought
two lottery tickets and gave his grandson one. Grandpa
scratched his off, but didn't win anything, The grandson
scratched his off and won $10,000. Grandpa was all happy
and surprised that his grandson had won and he asked,
"Are you going to give some of that money to grandpa?"
The boy looked at him and replied, "Grandpa, is your
penis big enough to touch your ass?" Grandpa looked
at him for a moment, then replied, "YES!"

"Good, then go fuck yourself!", said the grandson.





[br]Click to enlarge[/br]

Clintons Lawn
President Clinton wakes up to a beautiful winter morning.
The sun is shining, the air is crisp, and there is a
light blanket of snow on the ground. He stretches and
goes to look out the window at the snow-covered White
House lawn and sees the words "President Clinton sucks"
written in pee in the snow. Clinton gets all upset and
calls White House Security. He tells them he doesn't
care what it takes but he wants to know who did this.

The Chief of Security returns in a couple of days to
the President and tells him that he has good news, bad
news, and real bad news.

"OK," says Clinton, "give me the good news first, then
the bad news, and then the real bad news."

The Chief says: "The good news is after taking analysis
of the pee, we know who the culprit is."

Clinton nods and the Chief continues: "The bad news
is the culprit is Vice President Gore."

This really upsets the President, but he controls his
anger and asks the Chief to tell him the real bad news.

The Chief of Security swallows and says, "It's in Hilary's
hand writing".
 

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Thursday, February 2, 2006

Today was a great day. First hour of playing was rewarded with a 72 ped Molisk young (with shogun shins -M & F). After posting it at EF, returned to Orthos to continue my onslaught but no global. THe consolation is I have unlocked RDA! Range Damage Assessment. :D

After lunch (4 hours of playing), met malice (one my my first friends) at twins. So we teamed up and went hunting troopers. That was the best idea ever. First mob, Drone Gen 08 rewarded us with a 86 pedder (with a MK II inside). Our fourth mob, Trooper 03 I think got us a 92 pedder (all peds). Was not thinking of capturing the pic then as was too excited to see when the next robot global will be. True enough, my socmate Loki who was hunting nearby (solo) got a 53 pedder global (all peds also) just 5 minutes after our 92 ped global. Talk about hotspot. :dance:

Then Malice had to go so I continue my hunt alone - hunting estos at Limnadian. Bad Choice! Lost around 100 peds hunting them but what the heck, unlocked RDA and with 3 globals, who am I to complain? :silly2:

Tennis Ball

While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a
brand new tennis ball, and seeing none around that it
might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his
shorts.

Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian
crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A blonde
girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his
shorts. "What's that?" she asked, her eyes gleaming
with lust.

"Tennis ball," came the breathless reply.

"Oh," said the blonde sympathetically, "that must be
painful. I had tennis elbow once."
 

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Jokes Time!

At The Bar

Seems that 3 blonde party girls sat down at the bar
in a tavern.

The first blonde tells the bartender, "I'll have a BM."

The bartender taken back asks, "A what?"

She says, "A Bloody Mary, Duh."

The second blonde tells the bar tender, "I'll have a
JC."

Again, the bartender asks, "What is a JC?"

She responds, smacking her lips, "A Jack Daniels and
Coke, Duh!"

The third blonde, asks the bartender for a "fifteen".
The bartender is really puzzled now and asks her what
this means.

The third blonde shakes her head and says, "Of course,
its a seven and seven, Duh!"


PE no weather forecast? :silly2:
[br]Click to enlarge[/br]

Puppy

One day, a father and his son were walking in the woods
on their way home when suddenly they came upon two dogs
mating in the brush. "What are they doing, Dad?" asked
the small child, staring intently at the scene before
them. "They, um, they're making a puppy" said the boy's
father, as he grabbed his coat and moved him along quickly.
A few nights later, the little boy woke up and got up
from his bed to go to the bathroom. As he walked by
his parents' room, he heard strange noises coming from
within. He opened the door and was surprised to see
his father on top of his mother, moving in a strange
way. His father looked up and saw his son - instantly,
both mother and father froze. As the boy's mother grabbed
for the sheets to cover herself up, the father got up
and hustled his son out of the bedroom. "What were you
doing to Mom, Dad?" asked the little boy, who still
wasn't sure what he saw. "Your mother and I were, well,
we were, ah, trying to make a baby - you know, maybe
a brother or sister for you" said the boy's father,
now confident that this would satisfy his son's curiosity.
"Oh" said the little boy, thinking hard for a minute.
"Y'know Dad, when you go back to bed with mom, turn
her over, please - I'd rather have a puppy".
 

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Ponder On Love

THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly
gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He
stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.
I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be
over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at
his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another p atient, I
would evaluate his wound.
On exam it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got
the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.
While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation I
asked him if he had a doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in
such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing
home to eat breakfast with his wife.
I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there
for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease. As we
talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he
was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she
had not recognized him in five years now.
I was surprised, and asked him. "And you still go every morning, even
though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my
hand and said.
"She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."
I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and
thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."
True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an
acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
"The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of
everything; they just make the best of everything that comes along their way."
 

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Friday, February 3, 2006

Today had a rough day at PE. Lost 40 peds hunting molisk, 80 peds hunting atrax & bery guardian and 100 peds hunting Estos. :( Loot is bad these days. Looks like the 100K HoF is nearer than ever. :confused:

The only consolation I had is my 500 molisk tooth (tt = 5ped) was sold for 1350% in 30 minutes at auction. :D Was shouting for the past week offering 1200% but no one took up the offer. Look likes auction will reach more people than you know.

Work piling now as have been playing PE too much (Is there a word as too much?) ;) Gotta concentrate back on work and less on PE. :laugh:

My RDA went up 4 rank today. :D Guess the lost peds make up for in skills.

Ice Cream

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems
when his teacher picked him to answer a question.

"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence
and you shot one with your gun how many would be left."

"None," replied Johnny, "'cause the rest would fly away."

"Well the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I
like the way you are thinking."

Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you now.
If there were three women eating ice cream cones in
a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting
the cone and the third was sucking the cone, which one
is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one
sucking the cone?"

"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding
ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking."
 

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Something To Cheer Us Up!

What happens when a cowboy has too much PE?

Click To See Animation
[br]Click to enlarge[/br]
 

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Married Life

Married life is full of excitement and frustration:

* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. :laugh:


It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.


Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.


It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!


There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.


A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.


Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it. :silly2:


Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!
 

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Saturday, February 4, 2006

After hearing that Molisk drop Angel parts, immediately went for them. :D Overall, after 6 rounds and 7 hours, managed to break even on ammo but lost out in armor decay and amp decay. So today is another lost of 100 peds (Ghost decay is slightly higher than Rascal).

Saw 2 agro uber, 1 atrax uber and a few crafting ubers. :eek: However, average loot dropped. I am thankful that today the lost was not that high (usually after 3 hours if no global the lost would be already 100 - 200 peds).

Wife grumbled again about me spending more time at PE. :laugh:

I Want a Divorce

A married couple is driving down the interstate doing
55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks
over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married
for 15 years, but, I want a divorce."

The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed
to 60 mph.

She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out
of it, because I've been having an affair with your
best friend, and he's a better lover than you."

Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as
he clenches his hands on the wheels.

She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds
up, and now is doing 70 mph.

She says, "I want the kids too." The husband just keeps
driving faster, and faster, until he's up to 80 mph.

She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and
all the credit cards too." The husband slowly starts
to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says,
"Is there anything you want?"

The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need right
here."

She asks, "What's that?"

The husband replies just before they hit the wall at
90 mph, "I've got the airbag!"
 

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Men At Work

Click thumbnail to see animation

[br]Click to enlarge[/br]
 

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Sunday, February 5, 2006

Nothing much today. Cutting my hair and getting photographed for the renewal of my passport. Have been steadily losing peds these last few weeks. Hopefully to make it up tonight.

The Fountain

A guy was walking in the park when he saw a fountain.
"What a beautiful fountain," he thought to himself,
"I think I'll take a risk and bathe in it." So he goes
home and gets two bars of soap and walks back to the
fountain, takes off all of his clothes and proceedes
to bathe. After a few minutes three nuns come walking
along. The guy quickly shoves the bars of soap into
his mouth and posses like a statue. The nuns stop to
look at him and one of the nuns says "Look it's one
of those slot machines." so the first nun shoves a
quarter up his butt, pulls his dick and a bar of soap
pops out of his mouth. The second nun shoves a quarter
up his butt, pulls his dick and a bar of soap pops out
of his mouth. The third nun shoves a quarter up his
butt, pulls his dick nothing happens so she keeps yanking
on it. She looks down at her hands and says "Oh, what
lovely hand cream."


Dead Or Alive
[br]Click to enlarge[/br]

Peace Or War
[br]Click to enlarge[/br]

Threat Or Pretext
[br]Click to enlarge[/br]

Tirany Or Freedom
[br]Click to enlarge[/br]
 

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Monday, February 6, 2006

Last night was great! :D Hunted Estos at Limna and broke even! :eek: My first in like countless times of hunting estos. Loot was like 11 pedders and 3 pedders most of the time with of course the usual 'no loot' at times.

Saw a few allos ubered. My, mobs have certainly changed from agro ubers to allo ubers. :silly2:

Anyway hope to continue the good run today. :girl:

Sexual Disfunction

"Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual
problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore."

The Doctor looked at the man, and replied, "Mr. Thomas,
bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what
I can do."

The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife.
"Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the Doctor requested.
"Now turn all the way around...Lie down please...Uh-
huh, I see. OK, you may put your clothes back on."

The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect
health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection
either."
 

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Something To Try

How Smart is Your Right Foot?



This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep trying at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't.


1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.

Mind Over Matter.... :wise:
 
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