Hunting Retardions *Is* Retarded...If You're Me

Coelacanth

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Alberta, Canada
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Coelacanth Coelacanth Maryka
After Work & Evening, Feb. 13, 2008

Tonight, just after 6 PM, I decide to change things up a bit, break out the Ghost armor (for its electric protection), and decide to head SW of Atlas Haven and slice up a little Tardloaf. I rarely hunt Retardions as there's usually very bad return for me, and there's not much excitement or threat of danger. With my plated Ghost and nearly 130 health, the plethora of crabs barely even dings me.

Still, I hunt carefully, I don't often just wade into the sea of Tillions, rather I let 1 to 4 go aggressive on me at a time, which reduces my armor decay bill at the end of the hunt. I arrive at the Tarding grounds and run past a girl duking it out with a gaggle of crabs with powerfists. I find a few of my own, and it's soon becoming apparent that the crabs are gonna loot better than the Tards. I get a surprising 111 PED global (all oils) on a Tantillion Young. That makes me decide to stay in the area and see if much better is in store for me. It seems I'm always seeing someone posting how they got an uber or HOF shortly after globalling...how illogical is that? :rolleyes:

I'm taking out large numbers of crabs, focusing more on hunting them than the Tards, the loots are alright...time flies by as I methodically slay the crabs in groups of 2 to 5 at a time. I notice my powerfisting neighbor seems to have been overwhelmed by crabs, there's a huddle of them surrounding a white dot on radar. I avenge her death by eliminating the huddle. :sniper:

I'm hunting the Tards now, and I'm getting no-loots. Lots of no-loots. After the 3rd or 4th no-loot, it's in my conscious and I'm keeping track of the score, each time I kill a Tard. By the time I've had 6 or 7 no-loots, I'm viciously complaining to a society mate in society chat. I'm furious after I've reached 8 or 9 consecutive no-loots, but then I somehow dissociate myself from it. Now I'm thinking about the blog entry I'll devote to this, the next day, and it becomes a mission to see just how many Tards I can kill that give me no loot. I laugh to myself as I've now killed 12--count 'em, TWELVE Tards in a row, Young/Mature/Old, with no loot. That's REALLY gotta be a record for Tards, or close to one, anyway--though it's still not close to breaking my woeful record of 16 no loots in a row on Atroxes south of Ithaca, a few years ago. :cussing:

Many of you might be thinking, "If so many were not looting, why didn't you hunt something else?" Well firstly, one never knows if the next mob is gonna give a good loot or a no-loot. Secondly, according to MindArk, even with no-loots, the loot payback is unchanged. (Yeah right...) :grumble: Thirdly, after all those no-loots, I just (stupidly) assumed that the one that DID finally drop loot, would drop a decent loot to balance all the no-loots. (Yeah right, again.) And lastly, it seems that every time I dump a lot of ammo into an area, into a certain mob species, the very moment I finally give up and leave, someone *else* comes along and scores a HOF. So, stupidly or otherwise, I stick around to see how this plays out.

Lucky Tard #13 FINALLY drops me a loot! Yay! It's a whopping 1.00 PED after I total all the sh!t up. Nice job, MA, so much for loot balancing out, eh? :handjob:

Eventually I get bored of the constant killing of crabs and decide to hunt big fouls. By this time, I've hunted Tardisneyland for over 5 hours straight and I'm getting that fat, overweight feeling again. After all this time hunting, I've looted a single item, (M) Pixie shin from a stray Exarasaur. Wow! I finally head to Twin, sticking my face in storage and auction for a while, reverse-bragging about my latest exploits to one of my newly-graduated disciples, who got a nice Feff global a half hour earlier. Turns out his global was a full-TT set of Martial footguards. Oh, this is the same player who, one time during his discipleship when we decided to team-hunt big Exarasaurs north of Troy, looted 2 sets of Pixie footguards while I looted Exarasaur teeth. To date, I've only looted 2 footguards, Hunter and Shogun. Ho-hum.

I spend the next hour and a half or so, slaughtering as many big fouls as I can NE of Treasure Island, from Scouts to Guardians, with a modest sprinkling of Raiders. They seem to be lining up nicely on radar and I figure I dispatch at least a hundred of 'em, with nothing interesting happening, before I finally call it a night and logout. It's now about 1:40 AM, and I gotta get up and work the next morning.
 
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