Vortexy's Diary

Life Comparison.. Be Thankful With What You Have

  • Food That We Eat

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  • Child Comparison

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  • Games We Play (PE? - :laugh: )

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  • Study Comparison

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Ethics?

A Personal Friend

During a good manners and etiquette class, the teacher says to her
students:



"If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent
family
and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what
would you
say to her?"

Mike replies "Wait a minute, I'm going for a pee"

The teacher says : "That would be very rude and improper on your
part."

Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back
in a minute."

The teacher says : "That's much better but to mention the
word "toilet" during a meal, is unpleasant."

And Johnny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to
go shake hands

with a personal friend, whom, I hope, to be able to introduce to you
after dinner. "

The teacher passed out…
 
Tuesday, February 7, 2006

Yesterday lost 50 peds (not bad since the turnover was like 500 peds). Estos broke even a little but lost on allos. A few guys globaled right beside me. :eek: Sigh. :( No luck I guess.

Mining another lost of 50 peds (after deducting ore/minerals). DESPERATELY need a global soon. :broke:

On a brighter note, sold my animal hides (2k worth) for 190% and molisk tooth (500 teeth) for 1350%. Not a bad rate. :D

Tips for Working Hard

Tips for 'working hard' from George Costanza . . . words
to live by.

1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your
hands.


People with documents in their hands look like hardworking
employees heading for important meetings. People with
nothing in their hands look like they're heading for
the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hands
look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all,
make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at
night, thus generating the false impression that you
work longer hours than you do.

2. Use computers to look busy.

Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to
the casual observer. You can send and receive personal
e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a
blast without doing anything remotely related to work.
These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the
proponents of the computer revolution would like to
talk about but they're not bad either. When you get
caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught - your
best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to
use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.

3. Messy desk.

Top management can get away with a clean desk. For
the rest of us, it looks like you're not working hard
enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace.
To the observer, last year's work looks the same as
today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high
and wide.

If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury
the document you'll need halfway down in an existing
stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

4. Voice Mail.

Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People
don't call you just because they want to give you something
for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do
work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your
calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice
mail message for you and it sounds like impending work,
respond during lunch hour when you know they're not
there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious
even though you're being a devious weasel.

If you diligently employ the method of screening incoming
calls and then returning calls when nobody is there,
this will greatly increase the odds that the caller
will give up or look for a solution that doesn't involve
you. The sweetest voice mail message you can ever hear
is: "Ignore my last message. I took care of it". If
your voice mailbox has a limit on the number of messages
it can hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently.
One way to do that is to never erase any incoming messages.
If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages.
Your callers will hear a recorded message that says,
"Sorry, this mailbox is full" - a sure sign that you
are a hardworking employee in high demand.

5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed.
According to George Costanza, one should also always
try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses
the impression that you are always busy.

6. Appear to Work Late.
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss
is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks
that you always wanted to read but have no time until
late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss'
room on your way out. Send important e-mails at unearthly
hours (e.g., 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc...) and during public
holidays.

7. Creative Sighing for Effect.
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving
the impression that you are very hard pressed.

8. Stacking Strategy.
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table.
Put lots of books on the floor etc... Can always borrow
from library. Thick computer manuals are the best.

9. Build Vocabulary.
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all
the jargon and new products. Use it freely when in
conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have
to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.
 
Some Of The Best Things In Life Are For Free

"SOME OF THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FOR FREE"

Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot. :yup:

Who calls you back when you hang up on him.

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. :love:

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead. :o:

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

Who holds your hand in front of his friends. :hug:

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her." :drool:
 
Diary In A Diary..

Something to chuckle about in the ways of looking at things..


DEAR DIARY ... DAY ONE
I am all packed and ready to get on the cruise ship. I've packed
all my pretty dresses and make-up. I'm really excited.


DEAR DIARY .. DAY TWO
We spent the entire day at sea. It was beautiful and we saw
some whales and dolphins. What a wonderful vacation this has started to
be. I met the Captain today and he
seems like a very nice man.


DEAR DIARY .. DAY THREE
I spent some time in the pool today. I also did some
shuffle boarding and hit some golf balls off the deck. The Captain invited
me to
join him at his table for dinner. I felt honored and we had a wonderful
time. He is a very attractive and attentive gentleman.


DEAR DIARY ... DAY FOUR
Went to the ship's casino ... did OK ... won about $80.
The Captain invited me to have dinner with him in his state room. We had a
luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay
the night but I declined. I told him there was no way I could
be unfaithful to my husband.


DEAR DIARY .... DAY FIVE
Went back to the pool today and got a little sunburned. I
decided to go to the piano bar and spend the rest of the day inside. The
Captain saw me and bought me a couple of drinks. He really is a charming
gentleman. He again asked me to visit him for the night and again I
declined. He told me that if I didn't let him have his way with me he would
sink
the ship. I was appalled.


DEAR DIARY .. DAY SIX
I saved 1600 lives today........ Twice and maybe till I reach the main land.
 
Thursday, February 9, 2006

Yesterday was not online. Surprisingly could do with one day without logging into Pe/EF! :D

Molisk is my new found friend. They give approximately 80% return on loot. Nice. :rolleyes:

Been steadily spending 200 - 300 peds a day on hunting and mining but still no global? :( A few others even ubered right beside me! Talk about rotten luck... :(

Hope this evening will be better than previous days... Global/uber... I need you! :laugh:

Special Day

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband,
"I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course
I do," he indignantly answered, going out the door to
the office. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the
woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing
a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped,
two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later,
a boutique delivered a designer dress.

The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home.
When he arrived, she exclaimed, "First the flowers,
then the chocolates and then the dress!. I've never
had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!"
 
Joke Time

Stingy Old Lawyer.........

A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the old saying, "You can't take it with you." After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died.

He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan: When he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven.

Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer's wife, up in the attic cleaning came upon the two forgotten pillowcases, still stuffed with cash.

"Oh, that old fool," she exclaimed. "I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement."
 
Friday, February 10, 2006

Yesterday was cool. Had 8 rounds (100 peds ammo each) of hunting molisk/atrax/faucervix/merp but no global. :( Return rate of loot was however 80% as got a few 22 pedders and a few 11 pedders.

Crossing my fingers for a uber today. REALLY need it. ;)


Three Little Pigs

One day a first grade teacher was reading the story
of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to
the part of the story where the first pig was trying
to accumulate the building materials for his home.

She read, "...and so the pig went up to the man with
the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir,
but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'"

The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do
you think that man said?"

One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he
said 'Holy Shit! A talking pig!'"
 
Fart Poem... ewww

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song......

A fart can create
A most curious melody,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent and deadly.

A fart might be ordorless,
While others are quite vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......

A fart can occur
In a number of places,
Leaving everyone in range,
With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of us
Sooner or later.

But farts are not all bad,
Is simply isn't true
We must never forget.......
Sweet old farts like you!
 
Saturday, February 11, 2006

Been busy lately with work (piling up due to too much time playing PE). Anyway rifle skill advanced from Inspiring to Impressive at 3.4k. :D Hope to unlocked Serendipity soon.

Hunting allo/estos again and another lost of 200 peds. Change to molisk and lost 50 peds (at a turn over of 400 peds).. so not so bad. Then went hunting berys and snables at Billys. Yes, you heard it right. Billys. :silly2:

Funny thing was my hunt at Billys made like 100% profit. A 10 ped hunt (15 include armor + amp decay) produced a 30 ped loot (including pixie parts, bery skin, wools, gel, paints). :laugh:

Will take 2 days off MA to spend time with family. After all, family is the most important thing in life.

Wheat Toast

This couple was worried about the size of their young
son's penis, so they consulted a doctor. The doctor
told them that the only thing he knew of that would
correct this problem was for them to feed their son
wheat toast for breakfast. The next morning the son
came to the breakfast table where he saw a plate on
the table with a huge stack of wheat toast on it. He
asked his mother what the big stack of toast was for.
His mother replied, "The top two slices are for you
and the rest is for your Dad".
 
Why God Made Pets?

They help out around the house…

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They protect our children ...

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They look out for the smaller ones ...

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They show us how to relax ...

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They "converse" with each other ...

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Part 2

They help you when you're down ...

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They are great at decorating for the Holidays ...

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They have "great" expectations ...

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They are Patriotic ...

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They are happy to "test" the water ...

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They love their "teddies" ...

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Part 3 & Last (Smile as you will make others smile too)

They know who's "BOSS" ...

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AND - They know when we need a good LAUGH!

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BUT Most Importantly.... LAUGH!

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Monday, February 13, 2006

Times are bad in PE. Due to consistent lost during hunting, will have to temporary stop while waiting for a few of my items to be sold in auction before continuing. :broke: Was down to my last pecs. :( Sad but true.

Got 5 GSI in storage but the price has since dropped to around 70 peds per GSI! Should have sold em when they were 110 ped each. :laugh:

This really is a stumble for my quest to reach serendipity. Sigh.

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Lottery

A redneck wins the lottery and goes to Austin to claim
his winnings. The man behind the counter verifies the
redneck's ticket number and the redneck says, "I want
my $20 million. Where is it?!?!?!"

The man behind the counter replies, "No, sir. It doesn't
work that way. We give you a million today and then
you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."

The redneck says, "Oh, no. I want all my money right
now! I won it and I want it."

Again, the man explains that he would only get a million
that day and the rest during the next 19 years.

The redneck, furious with the man, screams out, "Look,
I want my money! If you're not going to give me my $20
million right now, then I want my dollar back!"
 
Ten Rules Of Dating

Since Valentine is round the corner, thought this is appropriate. :)

~*~DADDY'S TEN~*~RULES OF~*~DATING~*~
(Guys take note.) :D


Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes to big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of you date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: "early"

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to introduce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka -- zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, imwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my >daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveways you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car -- there is no need for you to come > inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine. :evilking:
 
Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Sold 5 GSI for 75 ped each yesterday to be able to continue hunting. :( Hopefully a global or HoF or better still ATH coming soon. :D
Damn maffoids :mad: not giving any stuff. Better stick to agro/molisk for the moment.

Got a lot of nice comments from fellow forumers on this diary. ;) Appreciate it very much.

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How to Kill an Eel

Little Johnny was 12 years-old and like other boys his
age, rather curious he had been hearing quite a bit
about "courting" from the older boys and he wondered
what it was and how it was done. One day he took his
questions to his mother who became rather flustered.
Instead of explaining "things" to Johnny she told him
to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his
older sister and her boyfriend. This he did. The following
morning Johnny described everything he saw to his mother...

Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then
he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing
and hugging her, I figured sis must be getting sick
because her face started looking funny. He must have
thought so too because he put his hand inside her blouse
to feel her heart, just like the doctor would. Except
he's not as smart as the doctor, because he seemed to
have trouble finding her heart.

I guess he was getting sick too because pretty soon
both of them started panting and getting all out of
breath. His other hand must have been cold because he
put it under her skirt. About this time sis got worse
and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide
down toward the end of the couch. This was when the
fever started. I knew it was a fever because sis told
him she was really hot.

Finally, I found what was making them so sick - a big
eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped
out of his pants and stood there, about ten inches long.
Honest!! Anyway, he grabbed it in one hand to keep it
from getting away.

When sis saw it, she got really scared, her eyes got
big and her mouth fell open and she started calling
to God and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest
one she'd ever seen - I should tell her about the ones
down at the lake.

Anyway, sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting
its head off. All of a sudden she made a noise and let
the eel go, I guess it bit her back. Then she grabbed
it with both hands and held it tight while he took a
muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's
head to keep it from biting again.

Sis laid back and spread her legs so she could get a
scissor-lock on it and he helped her by laying on top
of the eel. The eel put up a helluva fight. Sis started
moaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset
the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel.

After a while, they both quit moving and gave a great
sigh. Her boyfriend got up and sure enough they had
killed the eel. I knew it was dead because it just hung
there limp, and some of its insides were hanging out.
Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle,
but they went back to courting anyway. He started hugging
and kissing her again. By golly, the eel wasn't dead!!!
It jumped straight up and started to fight again, I
guess that eel's are like cat's they have nine lives
or something.

This time, sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by
sitting on it. After a 35 minute struggle they finally
killed it again. I knew it was dead this time because
I saw sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it
down the toilet!!
 
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12 Jokes To Keep You Smiling

Enjoy the jokes and have a great afternoon! :laugh:

Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin.
Mom asked "How do you know?"
Girl replied "Last night when we made love, his cock was still in plastic cover."


Bangladesh Worker: "Sir, me no come to work, me sick."
Boss: " When I am sick, I have sex with my wife - try it."
2 hours later Bangladesh Worker: "Boss! It worked!
Me ok now. You got nice house."


After sex, Thai girl kept fondling man's cock.
Man asked: "Why? Want to have sex again?"
Thai Girl replied: "No lah, just admiring your cock. I used to have one before."


Women's lives are hard. Morning wash clothes.
Noon hang clothes. Evening keep clothes.
Nite iron clothes. Midnight take off clothes.
After midnight find clothes.


To make it straight she pulls it. To make it stand she rubs it.
To make it stiff she licks it. To let it in she pushes it. True?
Threading a needle is not easy.


Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass:
"Anyone got a cock?" All men rose.
"I meant anyone seen a cock?" All women rose.
"I mean anyone seen my cock?" All nuns rose.


A Sad story. A woman's husband died & she had him cremated.
She then blew his ashes into the ocean and said "
Sweetheart, this is my last blowjob for you."


Girl: "Mom what is a penis?"
Mom: "When you become a good girl you will get one."
Girl: "But mom what if I am not a good girl?"
Mom: "Then you will get many!"


A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary:
"If I give you $3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?"
Secretary: "Everything sir! Dress, Bra and Panties."


Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the sex Education class."
Teacher: "Why?"
Schoolgirl: "Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral."


Two sperms talking on mobile.
Ist: "I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube and uterus. Are you close by?"
2nd: "No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just crossing the tonsils."



Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a PENIS.
This is because it can be lifted up even by a simple thought.
 
Wednesday, February 15, 2006

After selling my GSI and got 400 peds in my card, all was gone yesterday. Hunted for 6 hours and no global. :( Sigh. However, rilfe is now at 3.5k. Just 300 more to go before unlocking Serendipity. :D

Pint of Brandy

Sister Mary Katherine lived in a nunnery, a block away
from Jack's liquor store. One day, in walked Sister
Mary Katherine and she said, "Oh Jack, give me a pint
o' the brandy."

"Sister Mary Katherine," exclaimed Jack, "I could never
do that! I've never sold alcohol to a nun in my life!"

"Oh Jack," she responded, "it's only for the Mother
Superior." Her voice dropped. "It helps her constipation,
you know."

So Jack sold her the brandy.

Later that night Jack closed the store and walked home.
As he passed the nunnery, who should he see but Sister
Mary Katherine. And she was snookered. She was singing
and dancing, whirling around and flapping her arms like
a bird, right there on the sidewalk.

A crowd was gathering so Jack pushed through and exclaimed,
"Sister Mary Katherine! For shame! You told me this
was for the Mother Superior's constipation!"

Sister Mary Katherine didn't miss a beat as she replied:
"And so it is, me lad, so it is. When she sees me,
she's going to shit!" :laugh:
 
Some Rides That We Should Try Once In Our Life!

You dare? :silly2:


Ride 1

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Ride 2

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Ride 3

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Ride 4

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Ride 5

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Friday, February 17, 2006

Yesterday was caught up with work and a programme/seminar we were working on :( so wasn't able to go online. By the time the government officials went home, it was late already and after dinner, straight to bed.

Noticed a losing trend nowadays in PE. Sigh. Hope to hit a ATH soon as got nothing much left to sell.

Dead Frog

A young boy walks into a whorehouse dragging a crushed
frog on a string. He goes up to the madam and says,
"I'd like to have the service of one of your young ladies,
but she's gotta have herpes."

The madam, taken aback by the boy, asks him, "Little
boy, why on earth would you want to ruin your life at
such an early age?"

The boy says, "I don't want to explain, Either you help
me out or I'll go somewhere that will!"

The madam figures his money is better spent here than
somewhere else, and takes him into the back to meet
his lady.

About an hour later the boy, still dragging the frog,
tries to pay for his time.

"Keep your money", said the Madam, "but I've just got
to know why a boy your age wants herpes so badly. Won't
you please tell me?"

The boy takes a deep breath and sighs. "Ma'am, you see
this frog?" "When I go home tonight, mom and dad are
going out, and the babysitter will come over. And the
babysitter will get the herpes." Then mom and dad will
come home, dad will take the babysitter home, and dad
will get herpes. "When mom and dad go to bed tonight,
mom will get herpes. "Tomorrow, I'll go to school, dad
will go to work, and the milkman will get herpes. "And
the milkman," the boy sobbed, "the milkman is the son
of a bitch who ran over my frog!"
 
A Love Story

A Love Story

A man and a woman who had never met before, but were
both married to other people, found themselves assigned
to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing
a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly...
he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the
woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would
you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a
second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight,
let's pretend that we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own f*&^ing blanket."

After a moment of silence, he farted.

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Saturday, February 18, 2006

Money seem to be scarce in real life and also in PE. (Guess there are similarity between PE and real life after all :D ). Now working on a business targeting ladies :rolleyes: ie; handbags, cloths, earings, etc. Getting my supplies from Asian countries. Hope it works.

Stowaway

A depressed young woman from a Manhattan finishing school
was so desperate that she decided to end her life by
throwing herself into the water. When she went down
to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears,
took pity on her and said, "Look, you've got a lot to
live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if
you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take
good care of you and bring you food every day."

Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder
and added, "I'll keep you happy and you'll keep me happy?"
The girl nodded. What did she have to lose?

In the dark of night, the sailor brought her aboard
and hid her in a lifeboat under a tarp. From then on,
every night he brought her three sandwiches, coffee
and a piece of fruit and they made passionate love until
dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine search, the girl
was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing
here?" he asked. "I have an arrangement with one of
the sailors," she explained. "He's taking me to Europe
and every night he brings me food and screws me." "He
sure does, lady," said the captain. "This is the Staten
Island Ferry."


waterfall.gif
 
Monday, February 20, 2006

Had a good run last week. Got a 69 ped molisk global plus a couple of 20 pedders from atrax and Drone gen 01. Things are starting to look up! :D

Pixie/Goblin armor price crashed. :laugh:

Life in the Real world is getting better. Managed to survive this last few months even though wife not working. ;) Hope to get ATH from PE so can withdraw a little $$$$$$ :D

The Mirror

Two blondes were walking down the street when one found
a small mirror. She picked it up and looked in it. Puzzled
she said, "I just know that I've seen this face somewhere
before." The other blonde grabbed the mirror and said,
"Give it to me." She looked into the mirror and said,
"Well duh silly, it's me!"
 
GOD's Boxes

I have in my hands two boxes,
Which God gave me to hold.
He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black box,
And all your joys in the gold."

boxsorrow.gif


boxjoy.gif


I heeded His words, and in the two boxes,
Both my joys and sorrows I stored,
But though the gold became heavier each day,
The black was as light as before.

With curiosity, I opened the black,
I wanted to find out why,
And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole,
Which my sorrows had fallen out by.

I showed the hole to God, and mused,
"I wonder where my sorrows could be!"
He smiled a gentle smile and said,
"My child, they're all here with me.."

I asked God, why He gave me the boxes,
Why the gold and the black with the hole?
"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
The black is for you to let go."

We should consider all of our friends a blessing.
Send this to a friend today just to let them know you
are thinking of them and that they are a joy in your life.

A ball is a circle, no beginning, no end.
It keeps us together like our Circle of Friends.
But the treasure inside for you to see,
Is the treasure of friendship you've granted to me.

Today I pass the friendship ball to you.
Pass it on to someone who is a friend to you...

circleoffriends.gif


poohfriends.gif


The more you give, the more you get-
The more you laugh, the less you fret-
The more you do unselfishly,The more you live abundantly...
The more of everything you share, The more you'll always have to spare-
The more you love, the more you'll find that life is good and friends are kind...
For only what we give away enriches us from day to day.
 
Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Weee! :cheer: Luck has changed. Been getting a global a day for the last two days. (Hopefully today can get one too). :D

Might want to go into crafting soon. Maybe after a 1k uber. :D

If Men Ruled the World :eek:

If Men Really Ruled The World (from November 1998 issue
of Maxim magazine)

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically
forward your call to her real number.

Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an
acceptable response to "I love you."

Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?"
cards.

When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during
the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner
of the screen during a time-out.

Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass
and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would
pretty much do it.

Birth control would come in ale or lager.

You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names
of people you'd worked for, like "Heywood J'Blowme."

Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes
of the NFL team of your choice.

The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

"Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night"
would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.

At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and
you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of
a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.

It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends,
put on horned helmets, and go pillage a nearby town.

Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating
the "public ugliness" ordinance.

Tanks would be far easier to rent.

Garbage would take itself out.

Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."

Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present
your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're
#1!"

Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it
would only occur in leap years.

On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get
the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day, too. St. Patrick's
Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it
would be celebrated every month.

Cops would be broadcast live, and you could phone in
advice to the pursuing cops. Or to the crooks.

Two words: Ally McNaked.

Regis and Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer
and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative
pay-per-view event in world history.

The victors in any athletic competition would get to
kill and eat the losers.

The only show opposite Monday Night Football would be
Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle.

It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as
long as you returned it the following day with a full
tank of gas.

Every man would get four real Get Out of Jail Free cards
per year.

When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer
you responded with would actually reduce your fine.
As in:

Cop: "You know how fast you were going?"

You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over
the place."

Cop: "Nice one. That's $10 off."



Faucets would run "Hot," "Cold," and "100 proof."

The Statue of Liberty would get a bright red, 40-foot
thong.

People would never talk about how fresh they felt.

Daisy Duke shorts would never again go out of style.

Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds
of conversation.
 
Amazing Story to Share

An Amazing Story​

He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after
her, while he so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the
party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but
due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was
too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please,
let me go home.... suddenly he asked the waiter. "would you please give me
some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee."

Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he
put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously; why
you have this hobby? He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was living
near
the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea,
just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty
coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my
hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there". While
saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.


That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can
tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about
home, has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke
about
her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice
talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.

They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets
all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was
such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!

Then the story was just like every beautiful love story , the princess
married to the prince, then they were living the happy life... And,
every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee e,
as she knew that's the way he liked it.

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My dearest,
please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I
said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so
nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt It was
hard for me to change so I just went ahead.I never thought that could be
the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times
in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie
to you for anything..

Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like
the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty
coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for
anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my
whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and
have you for my whole life,even though I have to drink the salty coffee
again".

Her tears made the letter totally wet.Someday, someone asked her: what's
the taste of salty coffee?

It's sweet. She replied.

Love is not 2 forget but 2 forgive,
not 2 c but 2 understand,
not 2 hear but 2 listen,
not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !!!!
 
Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Even though there was no global yesterday, the hunt was still good. ;) Hunted 4 rounds with 100 ped ammo and averages a 110 ped return (enough for ammo and 50% of the armor and amp decay). So after four rounds, total lost was only like 50 peds. :D Not bad considering the skills that I am gaining. Got a couple of 10 pedders from atrox and 30 pedders from maff. :eek:

Met a few hunters (with pixie and opalo) that died a couple of times near S of Zychion and S of Orthos West Mound. Wanted to help them but by the time I arrive, they are already dead. Without a ghost armor, they should know better than to take 2 - 5 mobs at once.

Sperm Bank

A woman is working late at a sperm bank. All of a sudden
a man breaks through the window with a ski mask on and
a gun in his hand. He looks at the woman and says,
"Drink one of the sperm samples or else I'll blow your
brains out!!" The woman looks very disturbed and grabs
a sample and drinks it down. The man looks at her and
puts his gun away, then he pulls his ski mask off to
reveal it is her husband. He says, "See honey that wasn't
so bad was it?"
 
Friday, February 23, 2006

Today is another good day. Though only 1 global (and below 100) a day, it is sufficient to keep me afloat. :D Reached 3600 rifle also. Just 200 more to go. Then... SERENDIPITY! :eek:

Beers after Work

A man was approached by a co-worker at lunch who invited
him out for a few beers after work. The man said that
his wife would never go for it, that she doesn't allow
him to go drinking with the guys after work. The co-
worker suggested a way to overcome that problem, "When
you get home tonight, sneak into the house, slide down
under the sheets, gently pull down your wife's panties,
and give her oral sex. Women love it, and believe me,
she'll never mention that you were out late with the
boys." So the man agreed to try it, and went out and
enjoyed himself. Late that night, he sneaked into the
house, slid down under the sheets, gently slid down
his wife's panties, and gave her oral sex. She moaned
and groaned with pleasure, but after a little while,
he realized he had to take a leak, so he told her he'd
be right back. He got out of bed and walked down the
hall to the bathroom. When he opened the door and went
in, he was very surprised to see his wife sitting on
the toilet. "How did you get in here?" he asked. "Shhhhh!!!"
she replied, "you'll wake-up my mother!"
:eek:
 
Invisible Gun?

Good run today. Got 2 globals and a couple of 20 - 30 pedders and 1 GSI.

invisiblegun.JPG


Invisible gun? :laugh:
 
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