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Thread: Vortexy's Diary

  1. #51
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    Cool Friday, February 17, 2006

    Yesterday was caught up with work and a programme/seminar we were working on so wasn't able to go online. By the time the government officials went home, it was late already and after dinner, straight to bed.

    Noticed a losing trend nowadays in PE. Sigh. Hope to hit a ATH soon as got nothing much left to sell.

    Dead Frog

    A young boy walks into a whorehouse dragging a crushed
    frog on a string. He goes up to the madam and says,
    "I'd like to have the service of one of your young ladies,
    but she's gotta have herpes."

    The madam, taken aback by the boy, asks him, "Little
    boy, why on earth would you want to ruin your life at
    such an early age?"

    The boy says, "I don't want to explain, Either you help
    me out or I'll go somewhere that will!"

    The madam figures his money is better spent here than
    somewhere else, and takes him into the back to meet
    his lady.

    About an hour later the boy, still dragging the frog,
    tries to pay for his time.

    "Keep your money", said the Madam, "but I've just got
    to know why a boy your age wants herpes so badly. Won't
    you please tell me?"

    The boy takes a deep breath and sighs. "Ma'am, you see
    this frog?" "When I go home tonight, mom and dad are
    going out, and the babysitter will come over. And the
    babysitter will get the herpes." Then mom and dad will
    come home, dad will take the babysitter home, and dad
    will get herpes. "When mom and dad go to bed tonight,
    mom will get herpes. "Tomorrow, I'll go to school, dad
    will go to work, and the milkman will get herpes. "And
    the milkman," the boy sobbed, "the milkman is the son
    of a bitch who ran over my frog!"

  2. #52
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    Talking A Love Story

    A Love Story

    A man and a woman who had never met before, but were
    both married to other people, found themselves assigned
    to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

    Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing
    a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly...
    he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

    At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the
    woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would
    you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a
    second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

    "I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight,
    let's pretend that we're married."

    "Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

    "Good," she replied. "Get your own f*&^ing blanket."

    After a moment of silence, he farted.


  3. #53
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    Cool Saturday, February 18, 2006

    Money seem to be scarce in real life and also in PE. (Guess there are similarity between PE and real life after all ). Now working on a business targeting ladies ie; handbags, cloths, earings, etc. Getting my supplies from Asian countries. Hope it works.

    Stowaway

    A depressed young woman from a Manhattan finishing school
    was so desperate that she decided to end her life by
    throwing herself into the water. When she went down
    to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears,
    took pity on her and said, "Look, you've got a lot to
    live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if
    you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take
    good care of you and bring you food every day."

    Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder
    and added, "I'll keep you happy and you'll keep me happy?"
    The girl nodded. What did she have to lose?

    In the dark of night, the sailor brought her aboard
    and hid her in a lifeboat under a tarp. From then on,
    every night he brought her three sandwiches, coffee
    and a piece of fruit and they made passionate love until
    dawn.

    Three weeks later, during a routine search, the girl
    was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing
    here?" he asked. "I have an arrangement with one of
    the sailors," she explained. "He's taking me to Europe
    and every night he brings me food and screws me." "He
    sure does, lady," said the captain. "This is the Staten
    Island Ferry."



  4. #54
    Elite
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    Cool Monday, February 20, 2006

    Had a good run last week. Got a 69 ped molisk global plus a couple of 20 pedders from atrax and Drone gen 01. Things are starting to look up!

    Pixie/Goblin armor price crashed.

    Life in the Real world is getting better. Managed to survive this last few months even though wife not working. Hope to get ATH from PE so can withdraw a little $$$$$$

    The Mirror

    Two blondes were walking down the street when one found
    a small mirror. She picked it up and looked in it. Puzzled
    she said, "I just know that I've seen this face somewhere
    before." The other blonde grabbed the mirror and said,
    "Give it to me." She looked into the mirror and said,
    "Well duh silly, it's me!"

  5. #55
    Elite
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    Wink GOD's Boxes

    I have in my hands two boxes,
    Which God gave me to hold.
    He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black box,
    And all your joys in the gold."





    I heeded His words, and in the two boxes,
    Both my joys and sorrows I stored,
    But though the gold became heavier each day,
    The black was as light as before.

    With curiosity, I opened the black,
    I wanted to find out why,
    And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole,
    Which my sorrows had fallen out by.

    I showed the hole to God, and mused,
    "I wonder where my sorrows could be!"
    He smiled a gentle smile and said,
    "My child, they're all here with me.."

    I asked God, why He gave me the boxes,
    Why the gold and the black with the hole?
    "My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
    The black is for you to let go."

    We should consider all of our friends a blessing.
    Send this to a friend today just to let them know you
    are thinking of them and that they are a joy in your life.

    A ball is a circle, no beginning, no end.
    It keeps us together like our Circle of Friends.
    But the treasure inside for you to see,
    Is the treasure of friendship you've granted to me.

    Today I pass the friendship ball to you.
    Pass it on to someone who is a friend to you...





    The more you give, the more you get-
    The more you laugh, the less you fret-
    The more you do unselfishly,The more you live abundantly...
    The more of everything you share, The more you'll always have to spare-
    The more you love, the more you'll find that life is good and friends are kind...
    For only what we give away enriches us from day to day.

  6. #56
    Elite
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    Cool Tuesday, February 21, 2006

    Weee! Luck has changed. Been getting a global a day for the last two days. (Hopefully today can get one too).

    Might want to go into crafting soon. Maybe after a 1k uber.

    If Men Ruled the World

    If Men Really Ruled The World (from November 1998 issue
    of Maxim magazine)

    Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically
    forward your call to her real number.

    Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an
    acceptable response to "I love you."

    Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?"
    cards.

    When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during
    the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner
    of the screen during a time-out.

    Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass
    and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would
    pretty much do it.

    Birth control would come in ale or lager.

    You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names
    of people you'd worked for, like "Heywood J'Blowme."

    Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes
    of the NFL team of your choice.

    The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

    "Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night"
    would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.

    At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and
    you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of
    a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.

    It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends,
    put on horned helmets, and go pillage a nearby town.

    Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating
    the "public ugliness" ordinance.

    Tanks would be far easier to rent.

    Garbage would take itself out.

    Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."

    Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present
    your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're
    #1!"

    Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it
    would only occur in leap years.

    On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get
    the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day, too. St. Patrick's
    Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it
    would be celebrated every month.

    Cops would be broadcast live, and you could phone in
    advice to the pursuing cops. Or to the crooks.

    Two words: Ally McNaked.

    Regis and Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer
    and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative
    pay-per-view event in world history.

    The victors in any athletic competition would get to
    kill and eat the losers.

    The only show opposite Monday Night Football would be
    Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle.

    It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as
    long as you returned it the following day with a full
    tank of gas.

    Every man would get four real Get Out of Jail Free cards
    per year.

    When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer
    you responded with would actually reduce your fine.
    As in:

    Cop: "You know how fast you were going?"

    You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over
    the place."

    Cop: "Nice one. That's $10 off."



    Faucets would run "Hot," "Cold," and "100 proof."

    The Statue of Liberty would get a bright red, 40-foot
    thong.

    People would never talk about how fresh they felt.

    Daisy Duke shorts would never again go out of style.

    Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds
    of conversation.

  7. #57
    Elite
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    Wink Amazing Story to Share

    An Amazing Story


    He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after
    her, while he so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the
    party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but
    due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was
    too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please,
    let me go home.... suddenly he asked the waiter. "would you please give me
    some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee."

    Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he
    put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously; why
    you have this hobby? He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was living
    near
    the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea,
    just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty
    coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my
    hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there". While
    saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.


    That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can
    tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about
    home, has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke
    about
    her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice
    talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.

    They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets
    all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was
    such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!

    Then the story was just like every beautiful love story , the princess
    married to the prince, then they were living the happy life... And,
    every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee e,
    as she knew that's the way he liked it.

    After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My dearest,
    please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I
    said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so
    nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt It was
    hard for me to change so I just went ahead.I never thought that could be
    the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times
    in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie
    to you for anything..

    Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like
    the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty
    coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for
    anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my
    whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and
    have you for my whole life,even though I have to drink the salty coffee
    again".

    Her tears made the letter totally wet.Someday, someone asked her: what's
    the taste of salty coffee?

    It's sweet. She replied.

    Love is not 2 forget but 2 forgive,
    not 2 c but 2 understand,
    not 2 hear but 2 listen,
    not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !!!!

  8. #58
    Elite
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    Cool Wednesday, February 22, 2006

    Even though there was no global yesterday, the hunt was still good. Hunted 4 rounds with 100 ped ammo and averages a 110 ped return (enough for ammo and 50% of the armor and amp decay). So after four rounds, total lost was only like 50 peds. Not bad considering the skills that I am gaining. Got a couple of 10 pedders from atrox and 30 pedders from maff.

    Met a few hunters (with pixie and opalo) that died a couple of times near S of Zychion and S of Orthos West Mound. Wanted to help them but by the time I arrive, they are already dead. Without a ghost armor, they should know better than to take 2 - 5 mobs at once.

    Sperm Bank

    A woman is working late at a sperm bank. All of a sudden
    a man breaks through the window with a ski mask on and
    a gun in his hand. He looks at the woman and says,
    "Drink one of the sperm samples or else I'll blow your
    brains out!!" The woman looks very disturbed and grabs
    a sample and drinks it down. The man looks at her and
    puts his gun away, then he pulls his ski mask off to
    reveal it is her husband. He says, "See honey that wasn't
    so bad was it?"

  9. #59
    Elite
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    Cool Friday, February 23, 2006

    Today is another good day. Though only 1 global (and below 100) a day, it is sufficient to keep me afloat. Reached 3600 rifle also. Just 200 more to go. Then... SERENDIPITY!

    Beers after Work

    A man was approached by a co-worker at lunch who invited
    him out for a few beers after work. The man said that
    his wife would never go for it, that she doesn't allow
    him to go drinking with the guys after work. The co-
    worker suggested a way to overcome that problem, "When
    you get home tonight, sneak into the house, slide down
    under the sheets, gently pull down your wife's panties,
    and give her oral sex. Women love it, and believe me,
    she'll never mention that you were out late with the
    boys." So the man agreed to try it, and went out and
    enjoyed himself. Late that night, he sneaked into the
    house, slid down under the sheets, gently slid down
    his wife's panties, and gave her oral sex. She moaned
    and groaned with pleasure, but after a little while,
    he realized he had to take a leak, so he told her he'd
    be right back. He got out of bed and walked down the
    hall to the bathroom. When he opened the door and went
    in, he was very surprised to see his wife sitting on
    the toilet. "How did you get in here?" he asked. "Shhhhh!!!"
    she replied, "you'll wake-up my mother!"

  10. #60
    Elite
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    Invisible Gun?

    Good run today. Got 2 globals and a couple of 20 - 30 pedders and 1 GSI.



    Invisible gun?

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