Squee's Diary

[Squee]

Dear Diary,

It is December 2004, and I have finally arrived on Calypso. It was a long journey, and not without the necessary problems. Because of the weather it was impossible to land near Port Atlantis and we were diverted to Echidna. I traveled here due to the news that this was the new goldrush and wanted to take a peak.

Echidna is a small place with a service center, a few contains with "idunnowhat" and a few turrets as protection. After getting used to the atmosphere, I slowly made myself familiar with this basic settlement, the service it had to provide, and then took a small walk arround.

The nature arround is somewhat like our earth, thought it is clear they have had another evolution process. The same goes for the animal's ive seen arround, which they call mob's on calypso.

I swiftly found a contaminated area south of here. I wonder if this was here before we started colonizing this planet, or that the colonist that are already here have something todo with it. In any case, I cannot find any information in my database about this.

The stragest thing of being here is that I am never hungry or thirsty, I don't sweat nor do I get tired. I assume that is the reason there is a lack of sanitation. The day night cycle is strange as well as it never gets dark.

I read in my hitchhickers guide to calypso that I could gather the sweat of the mobs for some basic money, but I came prepared with some cash on me. I didn't leave earth looking for a new job, but a new enviorment and away from the stress.

After I looked arround, I went back to Echidna to get my first rifle and start helping make the landscape a bit safer. I found this dino-like bird which I started on, and wish success. Thought with my knowledge it seemed hard to impossible to find anything worthwhile on its corpse. Later I did find some mobs what got the better part of some colonists, and found some money, though the rest, like identifaction seems to be digested or something as I couldnt find any.

I will report back on my findings and experiences in time which I will fill by also trying to make some contact with the locals.

---

Back to Reality:
This is how my first moments on calypso were. I will try to update my diary once in a while with some important past moments for me here that brought me to where I stand now.

I just thought I start a diary, share some of my experiences, and how the people who a bit who is really behind the avatar.

As for me in RL:
I was born canadian as son of some dutch emigrants ( or imigrants, which is it ). We moved back to holland due to an unfortunate event.

I now work as a senior programmer within a small web company for the best part of a decade now. Can't say I like my current employer much, but who does? It's work, pays the bills and I hae enough extra to live good and even deposit to PE.

I have seen the bad part of society, the lower part of it, and the criminal side of it. I will not go in to much details except that I didn't take part, just was arround it, know alot that should be known. I have done what I could to get out of that social atmosphere, to give it a name, and I think ive done good. The movie Trainspotting, also one of my fav's, come to mind as a comparison on how it could be. I've also often heard that I look exactly like the main character. We had, certainly when the movie came out, almost indentical faces. Look at the picture and you know for 99% what I look like. All I can say is that it is lonely when you leave all your friends and mates behind you and try to start over. People looking down on you, judging you etc. But I managed and not unhappy at all nor do i regret the past. It was good experience to learn about what a screwed up world we live in, and tought me the real values of a good friendship. The downside is, it also tought me to doubt everything.

That was alot of personal info, but now you guys know my background abit. It might clear up future messages with opinion's, thoughts etc.

As for me in PE ermm EU:
I started as above, shortly after to join a new soc that soon became very large and not very appreciated. I did my work and went up in ranks. Thought not everything was as good as it seemed like members were really being "used" by the soc leader. Details will follow in following posts, as well as how and why I started the Irken Invaders society and how I as player and leader get through the game.

 

[Squee]

It's a few days later. I have been having somewhat are hard time to survive on this planet but I seem to do ok. Equiped with my sollomate beauto ( what the tt rifle was back then .. i can't remember ) and some cells I have hunted for several days on end to get some skills.

I still haven't left echidna, so ive got to know the area arround Echidna well by now. The walking back technique while attacking worked pretty good for an unarmored n00b with tt rifle. I was looking into getting some new tp's in the meanwhile, but it just seemed so hard to get there.

There someone shouts in public if there are any people that want to get a new TP. After three days being in this village I was wodering what else was arround so I applied for the trip. I was told to just stay back and thay he would kill anything in my path. We, three of us, followed him from Echidna to Chimera & Aegis.

He explained which radius mobs attacked. I remember it being pretty strict back then, and once they entered the light blue area they almost always attack directly. But with not to much problem we reach the first TP. While standing there something drops to the ground just infront of my eyes. I look down and I find my first fruit, and last for months to come. Unknowing if it was safe or not, I did not eat it but put it in storage to find out later what I could do with it. We soon went to the second TP.

There I was invited to join a society. At first ignored the request as I'm the type that wants information first. So after they explained it to me, it all seemed well, and I joined up. The Sweathogs they were called which some of you might remember, and they just started when i joined up.

The Sweathogs, started and lead by Kattifier as she called herself. It was a nice soc that grew quickly. They also tought me how to sweat. I read about it a few times, but I never tried it as i wanted to hunt and already got my rifle when i entered. They also held alot of n00b events to earn a bit of extra cash as n00b which was nice as well. Simple things like running from one to another location as fast as possible without dying, but it keeps you busy.

The rules were simple. The rank above you bought sweat for a higher price. Once I as in a higher rank, i bought sweat from lower ranked members, and selling it to higher ranks for a 2 few profit. That was how the soc was setup. So at the time, having no real clue what todo in the game, and I come arroud something structured, it seemed nice.

While in the soc, I swiftly got the 32tp's that there were on eudoria and got to go a rank up. Then I mostly went my own way and looked for team hunts in soc chat as well. It was a nice few months, where I slowly grew in ranks. While doing so there were a few irritations growing about how the soc was run. It was clear not everyone was treated equally, and sometimes not even like humans if i may exagurate for a second. This was starting to annoy me, but I always heard one side of the story from someone I trusted, the leader.

Well as things got worse, there were batches of people kicked from soc from time to time, without warning. As one of the earlier members ( i guess thats the reason ) I went up to the second highest rank and wasnt ammount the kickings. Only to be kicked a week later.

This really pissed me off, and a temper tantrum was really called for. Everyone I knew was in that soc, or previously kicked from it, but because of that, hardly anyone of them were in my friendslist. So after being kicked out, and with a closed members list, I was left stranded. Nobody to talk to unless I search good for them. I cannot see who's online that I know. Nothing. It was almost like I could start again.

Now in feburary 2005, I'm stranded. What I worked on the last few months is partly gone. A group of people I know but I can harly contact, and a group I really wish were... well you get the idea. A great start , but that wont keep me down....

 

[Squee]

The Irken's

Dear Diary,

Its half of febuary, and just got kicked from my old soc. From my experiences in that soc, I'm about to get very carefull about other socs. Everything seemed very focused on making money, structure, jobs, equip, skills. To fall back to my own reality, I DO NOT FEEL LIKE MAKING A FUSS OF THINGS AFTER A DAY OF WORK, i just want some fun in those few hours im free.

I'm not left stranded, can't contact the people i know but a few, and dunno anyone else, as the soc was enough for me to learn to know. A good friend already left the soc ealier with some that got kicked to form a new soc called P.o.S.

So I started my short journey to talk to Venom of PoS about joining. I neva everyone there so it seemed like a good idea.....

[note]
I might add that at the time, 3 months of playing, I still neva had worn armor while hunting all the time I was online and didnt seem to need it. I hunted close to the revival so dieing wasnt to horrible.
[/note]

In the conversation, it was mentioned that I MUST have armor to be in the soc. For me, such a requirement was unacceptable. I will not be force by someone to "buy" something. So in the end, I did not join.

Being an very introvert person in the last years, ive not made much contact with anyone other then the ppl i still had in my friendslist. Kinda sick about the attitude of some soc's i would of wanted to join, I decided to see if I could make my own and invite friends, some of them also sick of the attitude of many players.

I got thinking about a name, i can't remember all that past, but i remember the name "Irken Invaders" coming by, as a big Invaders Zim fan myself and as thinking were "colonizing" calypso, I think it would be a nice name. It would also show were not to serious and here for fun, as its based on something from a cartoon. So Irken Invaders it is to be, as soc for hunting and fun and no jobs or requirements.

I started to contact people I knew and ask to join, but at first only got 3 members. It was a hard start indeed. So after a week, and noticing the minimum requirements the hard way, I recreated it and invited the others again. Shortly after 2 old soc mates were to leave and come to us as well. Then we had a stable start of 5 players, Dwarph, Sidney, Theike, Pommo and myself. In the time to come, this would be our small soc. I decided, as founder that these 4 abd ne would be the "leaders" of the soc, if anyone joins. Any changes in the soc does not go without discussion and nobody just get kicks like in my previous experiences.

I also choose to use only a few ranks, and there has been many discussions since, but still unchanged. The top, is me, and the one below is for the other leaders. I needed one for a trialperiod for people just joining, and one for the active soc members. So thats 4 ranks. I started with Pupil, Junior hunter, elevated hunter and well me Later Junior Hunter became Hunter. This is how it still is atm.

About that trialperiod. The reaon we use a trialperiod is to see how personalities match, and how active people are. It's no good to have colliding personalities within the soc. We also set some low requirement to be promoted. Allow anyone in, and within the time of the trial they should fit those requirements.

Slowly I have been recruiting some more RL people I knew that joined as well. Known as TheLoneRanger, and Thorbadour.

For the next few months it was only those people. A small group, all dutch, and I knew 3 of the 6 others in RL as well. Totally goalless we roamed the lands of calypso shooting anything we saw.

Then it happend, inactivity hit. One leader the 6th and 7th member didn't play at all anymore. This was just after last summer. To save the soc we needed todo something. Unexperience with ingame recruiting, and being a very anonymous soc, we needed to start recruiting. Theike, Sidney and I went into the streets of calypso, announcing that we were recruiting, and slowly but surely got a new members. It was hours of work, with open discussions about our soc for one or 2 members a night.

Soon CND hit the news. New players coming in masses. We ofcourse used that to our benefit to recruit new members. This made the soc size grow, and grow, and applications kept coming. We needed to discuss if we would limit the members. We decided to limit it and stop the flow of new members.
We also needed to decide how to go about inactive members.

So far, so good.. This went on for a short while.

Till then I can say I was happy with the soc history. I had member saying good words about us, very happy with the soc. We only lost 2 members due to timezone difference, and one got kicked after a warning about this tantrum he had, and on a second occasion calling me a liar during an upcoming tantrum. Sidney saw that and didnt think twice lmao. ( well done sid ). The only others that left were people that left for inactivity. So we didnt really have much problems or unhappy members so far.

Then I hear some thunder in the distance. Some members clearly had a different idea about a soc, though I always accept someone opinions, I could of expect some things that were about to happen.

I had a short PE break arround Dec/Jan due to financial issues in RL. I cannot remember if any of this was before or after the break, or in the right order, but this is how it comes to mind. I believe this was in Jan this year, I was contacted by some members. That wanted a discussion with me about the soc. They were asking about ranking and other things. But remember, as I said, Im not the only one to decide things, there are 4 (att 3 ) others that decide and weren't online. I felt ackward as I couldnt give them my word on anything and basically could only share my own opinion. It was about ranking, not for the first time, but it was different. I wont say what they wanted, can't remember it all exactly anymore either, but ill just say stricter rules in the soc. Seeming what the soc foundation was to start with, it would of not be possible to comply to all request. It was then clear that some people would be leaving. Their expections have grown, their goals have changed, and certainly play at a different level then our other members. They left, 6 of them at one, to form the soc NoS. As you can see by the about a month old news, they were at a different level, as they have already entered the top50 most skills socs. Later 3 more members left, for NoS or a soc that spawned from NoS, Preatorian Guards. I will say that I'm still sorry to see them leave. All of 'em. Not because of their skills or I dunno what, but because of their personalities. Good folk's.

.... to be continued ( the next 6 months ) ...

 

[Squee]

When I came back from my short break, and some members split up to form their own soc, it was about the time that our soc exists a year long Who would of thought. Time to CELEBRATE..

So to celebrate I could think of a few things in game. One of them was a trip of all active members that wanted to visit CND. Most of us have never been up there, although many active members of the time were from the CND wave or new players. I posted a request for a quote on EF with little reply. When I decided to go up alone, I asked the pilot that flew me then for a Quote. This happend to be The Creature, from Ripture, and he helped me quite well to setup and organise a trip for 11 ppl that wanted to go up to CND.

So 11 of us went to cnd, most equiped with amped opalo's and went through several domes. One was very funny as ppl ran unorganised against a mob we could hardly handle as team, and the team was basically completely whiped out in seconds. All 11 of us, stupid, but fun.. The result of our trip can be found here

Besides the trip that was basically 2 months after our official celebration, we held some big hunts on calypso as well and a beacontrip, and possible a nice party at the bad in troy Can't remember all details..


In the meanwhile...
We were starting to elect a 5th leader. As part of our structure and a missing leader for months and months, it was about time to fill up that empty hole. 3 people wanted to position. The way I organised it ( had no protest so I guess it was fine ), was that everyone write a small piece about why they should be leader of our soc, to promote theirselves, which others can read and then vote. The small writen articles are also to check if the possible new leader does have the same ideas about the soc, and not that ( for example ) we would get a leader that wants 100+ members in the soc. This all went fine, and almost all votes went to one person. Although I kinda feel bad for the others, I think the results show that Flamedancer totally deserved of this position, and got it. Since then Flamedancer has been helping as a soc leader to organise and decide and doing a nice job on it.

While all normal hunting and mining continues nothing real special on a soc level, I personally started with a compo system not yet seen in EU. It's based on the ETO point system used in chess, but example for games can be seen on compo sites like clanbase ( who hasnt competed on that?? ). This system would allow multiple fights against anyone, and certainly not be a dropout race for the participants. After implementing a big interface, deciding rules, we held a test compo in the soc. I might add that one compo takes a month. That went pretty nice. Small prize pool and active participants

So, just before the summer I decided to run another one, invited members of the 2 socs that were started by old II members. This had bigger prizes, clearly, but somehow the activity just dropped very low. Less then the half of the registration actually participated. Kinda sucked if you ask me.. But I asked why and no clear reason came up, except to busy skilling instead of killing.

I would like to add that I was winner in both case. *looks proud* First round totally undefeated, thought I didnt have the highest HP orso. In the second I was by far the strongest, and only Sob ( from NoS ) was the only one to beat me. *applaus for sob*

I hope to start again at the end of october, though no public release, and only by invitation or if your really interest

In the mean while I have been working on a tool for EU. Unfortunately I saw later that someone else has release something like it, though I wont just give up all hard work I already put in it at the time. I have made some remarks about this tool, currently tools for miners and avatars wanting to track skills, and hope to release it soon for the public. All reactions so far have been very positive and hope the rest of the community will think the same.

Well thats kinda the story so far.. Uptill now..

Whats next for the diary.. Maybe some small stuff I experience in game, some thoughts on the tools I work on. Whats next? Some rants possible, some small things I experience in game, who knows..

 

[Squee]

Dear Diary,

I already spoke about my past. Now its time to speak about the present and future.

At the moment im flat broke. RL does not allow me to deposit ( it does but i have more important things for it atm ), so the last 2 months ive been left with my inventory, storage and my credits.

When this just started, I decided to start mining after all this time ingame. Iv'e come up with some reason why i should be mining and not hunting. So i decided to take out my old mining stuff i have only used once or twice in the past, get 100 bombs and take a long run. The first few long runs were good for me, profiting each run, and as i couldnt deposit this made me really happy.

This is also the reason i started working my the tool i currently almost have finished. I wanted a way to record my data quickly. Reporting the data was a 2nd. I think i have succeeded in this department.

At the start of september, someone asked if i would wanna participate in "the league" of Akoz. I said fine, and they told me to register and be team leader as well. Not the wisest decision as I needed to be in the team for the global or hof to count, and I wasnt the most active person of the team.

Our start was OK, but a long period without globals past also. Hunting hours on a day. We sometimes got global until one night where was had 4 globals on ambu's. That really put us up in position in the league and we finally ended 16th I think which I still really happy about. The down side of the league was that it cost me alot of cash to participate. Even with the globals a normal hunt hardly gave profit. The hunt with 4 globals only gave 20ped profit in total orso, so the rest of the globals were just to make up for the already made loses. Anyway, it is fun to participate, gives a good reason to organise a team hunt every night your online, and give the hunt a goal as well. The downside was having to tell other soc members, they couldn't team with us I really hate that.

Well as I was really down in my pedz, I have started selling my personal stock. First 42bp's i had double. Not that I was flat broke, but my reserves were as good as gone. This resulted in some nice hunt in which my credits went up up up again, and that without globals.

And at this point, 1 1/2 months after the start of a depositless period im still active and im really happy i could make it this far. I didnt think that would be possible without depositing for someone like me.

Finally this week, I thought about doing a mining run again. This first long run resulted in bad luck. Even counting market value i made some loses.

The next day, last sunday, I wanted to do another mining run, but say my of102 didnt give me any skills anymore. As the person that I am, I didnt want to go on the run till i had a decent orefinder that wouldnt set me back with my average search depth and i could use to skill. I had 2 options. A 211 (L) and a 105. I think the 211 would of been a good option, but for no particular reason i wanted the 105, even though prices are outragous. I ofcourse didnt have the pedz, not even getting close.

So I looked at all my options and saw I still had alot of ore. Atleast 590ped tt worth. BUT that is my personal stock of all kinds of ores just waiting to be used to craft so now and then. But I wanted the 105, so i decided to sell it. Using my own site lol i looked at the auction prices of the resources according to several auction indexes and saw it would be more then enough to get a 105. By this time people were calling me nuts cause of the price and the effort im doing. I went to PA and started selling....

The selling went reasonably well. First i sold some stuff through contacts, contacted some other socs if they had anyone buying. The hardest to get rid of was a ton of lyst and oil. I havent even sold those few precious dunkel i have had for more then a year.

But after hours and hours, I didnt have enough, no, i was asked to go on a beacon by Teilk. He was looking for some experienced people he said to help some people that never have been on a beacon mission. The beacon, like all of them, was fun I am not sure if we got all boxes but i think we did and the results werent to good. Doesnt matter to me, the beacon itself is fun enough.

After I got back to selling, it took me an hour or 2 to get all the cash I needed, and I got myself that 105. I can't tell you how happy I was that I succeeded in that particular goal. I am not the type that like to sell things, but selling went without to much hassle ( a big thnx to all buyers for that ), and i hardly like spending time. If I could of deposited, i would of just to get one instead of working hours and hours and hours. Then I needed 100ped for 100 bombs to get on my first run, and a bit of cash for ammo to protect myself from those nasty traxie dominants.

I though the run Jason-Mino would be a good choise. I started without much luck. Remember I am still a mining n00b all the way so my experience is minimal. I just ran great distances in one direction and drop everywhere over that line. Until i found 2 lyst directly to each others. I remember finding veins on the few runs ive done in 2005, and that those always had alot of deposits very close to each other in a row. I feel like i have found a new one, with a certain pattern in them, I guess the location of the 5 & 6th deposit in the "vein" and that turned out reasonable accurate, but the 7th came a bit sooner then expected and that was a nice XIII My second mining global ever. After all this work to get my 105, and the determination i had to actually take this run, It really started to feel like i did something right. Like I was getting rewarded for all my hardwork. Not to much alter I also find an XII which brought my lyst ammount up over the 100pedz i used for the run.

Since then I havent done much. It only has been a day.

Before I close I would like to add that my old soc leader, that i have already wrote about, is back ingame and active. This disturbs me. She is recruiting and personally I don't hope those people get treated like we did at the start of 2005. So to all Sweathogs, be carefull. There are better socs out there with more "stable" leaders that don't stab you in the back and that dont just drop you without reason. There are many ppl that have experienced this, atleast 100 and atleast a few would still be online. Ask the old sweathogs for their experience with your current leader. I for one don't have a positive word for her in my vocabulary. The most positive word would start with a B and end with something that cause me to scratch my ass all the time.

Once I can deposit, I'll put a price on her head. I am sick of her being arround. Makes me wanna puke. Any bounty hunter arrounds that wanna have a small bonus for pk-ing can contact me. Im thinking of spending a total of 1000pedz a month when i can deposit again, just to see her pk-ed all the time. Yes, I am a bastard, to those that treat me bad. And I'll neva forget those people. I don't believe bounties are against the EULA, otherwise id hafta find another way.

Well that's it for now... I'd just like to add that its nice to see that our soc shop gradually selling more and more.

 

[Squee]

Dear Diary,

It's been a while since my last post. Much has happend in the time, but not enough interesting materials. I tested the new VU and now I am broke. That's kinda it.. So I was going to dedicate a post on my old life on earth, but instead it will be about the 2 new leaders in our soc and how it came to be.

Let us all celebrate! The team of 5 leaders within the Irken Invaders is for the first time in atleast 1 1/2 year complete again. It all started a begin of the year actually, way way back ( yes, organising is slow ). Sidney, a personal friend, fellow founder of the soc, decided to stop playing EU. With that we got one empty spot. Because he needed to sell out, we left him at his rank outta honour towards him and his time in the soc. But it still left us with one empty spot to be filled.

We did nothing about this at first, and left the spot as it was. 2 months later, Sidney became active again. At first I was like, Great, a close friend came back. But it wasn't that simple. He already parted from his rank, but cause of reasons mentioned earlier he still had it. And he wanted it back as well. This put me into the ackward situation, of either be a friend to him, reinstate him outside of the actually rules of "promotion to leader"... or ... as we normally do in soc, discuss things ammongst leaders to decide whats right. I didnt want anyone to feel skipped that might of wanted that position or or or.

Well, directly reinstating him didnt feel honest towards the rest, also considering some might have been aiming for the position that Sidney toke distance from. So I started a discussion ammongst the 4 leaders and Sidney. That didn't go to well. As I said, this was a personal friend of mine, and my position in this was ackward to say the least. One thing was clear for me, if there was even a small difference which made it hard to the leaders of our soc to work together, someone had to go. As it went bad you can guess how it ended. From the start of the discussion went downhill. Personalities collided suddenly. I really felt bad in this situation, but when it was over, it was somewhat a relief to me.

So again, the 5th leader position is free. But not the 4th. So how come it became 2 new leaders?

Well, first I took a while before I started to poll how many ppl were interested in the position. While starting polling the members for possible new leaders, explaining their "function" etc, another original founder decided to stop. Someone I spent my first months in PE hunting almost daily with. Even though I hated to see him leave, and felt awkward even asking, I did ask him if toke distance from his position. He said 'yes' . He would ofcourse also keep his rank till he sold out, but from now 2 position were open. 2 Positions to fill with new semi-responsibly leaders.

So we started the leader position for 2 ranks. Polling the soc gave an initial 4 people wanting to run for leader. 2 dropped out due to RL reasons. As for the leadership, we developed a procedure to get it. Even though the members running were active and well known members to the soc, we require them to write a small piece to promote themselves as leader, mention what they would do with the soc as leader, or change, etc etc. This also would show if the new leaders had the same ideas and the currently other leaders. Those are then posted publically at the same time and the voting can start. The currently leaders have a veto over the end result to block possible unwanted leaders, although we can hardly imagine a member we would block, its a safety measure.

The written pieces were entered within the deadline and last minute there was a new entry, one of the dropouts entered again, and one other didnt participate at all anymore. Once all entries were recieved, I published them and the voting started...

I think from the start the mood was clear. Slowly the bars shift as new votes come in. For some they reached further then for other. Those were the ones to become the new assests in leadership. And they did.

The winners were:
Marty
BorgCymru
( fullname unknown by head )

That is the long story of the 2 new leaders...

 

[Squee]

Dear diary,

This time a real life issue.

As I have been saying in my NRF thread already. I will be away for an unknown period. This could be weeks, days, or not at all. Whats the problem? Well I wont have electricity and couldnt get security about being reconnect. I will be reconnected and dunno when.

So whats the story.. Well This started in the summer when one company found out that my bank didnt pay them anymore. Apparently the bank decided to stop all payments after a few failed payments. I thought I missed two but the rest were payed. I was wrong and noticed the hard way, but atm it wasnt clear what cause this issue. After paying up almost my complete earnings of a month to fix the issues, I have since then been fighting to keep paying everything..

I have lived on my CC since then. I have slowly fixed most issues, but again my bank stopped more payments that werent payed, but till now it was unclear that this happend as I believed I was paying everything neatly.

In the few months that past, I was nagging customers of my own to finally payup, which some still havent done. I had over 3000 euro's in bills over several customers still open of jobs I already finished. This is extra income next to my normal job. Also I havent recieved my tax returns yet for 2005. In total about 6000 euro's that were rightfully mine but not on my account to pay bills. Even though I shouldnt count on this kinda income, I really needed it at the moment.

Finally, It was november. In october I really spent to much to catch up. November was the month to fix this. But at the start of november I didnt have cash to fix issues and pay my monthly bills. So what happend was that after all these month, I couldnt care much about looking at new bills, I didnt see a way to fix this anymore. Problems seemed to be getting bigger. I couldnt even pay my morgage anymore. One of those bills wasnt a bill but a message telling my I had 3 days to avoid to be disconnected from my electricity.

It's almost december now, and I have found out about my electricity problems. I tried to fix them but I was to late. Ofcourse nobody is to blame but myself. I quickly called another company to provide me of electricity but they couldnt promise I would be reconnected fast enough. Thus I have an unknown period without electricity.

In the mean while, One customered paid up, another has legal action taken against him by now. Also Still no tax returns, my accountant is clueless about whats keeping it as well. But I also finally found out that the bank stopped all those payments, which was the actually cause of the whole problem, but in its turn also created a nice saving on another account, of which my morgage still got paid ( no payment missed ) and have enough left for another month of morgage. That means I have more then I thought. I have reconfigured all payments so they are automatic again and atm still have a nice sum left to fix any problems that might still arrise. So in one month time I have seen the light and found out my situation wasnt as bad as I thought.

Yes, when it comes to money I am a problem. I earn the most of all collegues I have at my full time job, though I am also the one thats always broke. But hey, who doesnt have their own weaknesses.

Moral of the story, Even when your flatbroke and unable to pay bills, still keep an eye on incoming mail, even if you think its just another bill you cannot pay..

No heat, no washing clothes, no warm showers, no lighting, no alarmclock in the morning. No nothing. I can cook stuff as that works on gas alone, but thats about it. I kinda look forward to the situation, as its like a forced camping vaction, just camping in my own house. Alot of candles for light, portable devices and book as entertainment. And with the warming up of the earth, just makes it a little less hard.

 

[Squee]

Dear Diary,

My electricity problem seems to be solved. My efforts have produced some good results although they werent expected. I am happy again

I will not complain about the VU, it has been done enough..

I will finally tell you about myself. After 2 years in EU, and being one of the most introvert people arround, I will try let others have an idea who I really am, even though the below text wont even give a good impression, it is story of how i was altered and changed and formed.

I am Squee.

To start, I was born in Hamilton, Canada, lived there for a couple of years and after a devorce from my drunken father, and due to circumstances that followed we moved to europe and actually lived under form of police protection from my own father.

Once in holland, I never picked up old hobbies, but started new ones. I stopped playing the piano, I stopped football ( european version ). I started doing other sports and just fooling arround with friends.

After gradeschool ( i think the english word is ) I started a to high education for me. One of the highest for this age. It was becoming clear I had learning problem. No matter how many hours I studied I still failed time after time and eventually dropped back to a lower grade, which eventually led to a electronics/electro techique education ( i had no choice to start a computer education as there for none for my level at the time ). That didnt go to smooth, taking 2 years for every class and mostly flunking on general classes like dutch and english even. In the end, going from school to school. I havent been on any school longer then 2 years since gradeschool, and even though I got several certificates I neva finished school cause i kept flunking certain classes.

I started to do some freelance works as companies somehow got my name when asking for a programmer. There were companies from all over holland. The work though was minimal, small jobs, worthless pay and not enough for a monthly salary. I soon rolled into the Job I still have. I have tried to get several jobs, but on the last attempt, the only thing they didnt do was lauph about my attempt to get the job without any education. I still believe i could of done it and so do people that know employees of the company, but the bosses just had a lauph about me, and I kinda gave up. No job I hunted would pay more then I already am getting or would thought highly enough of me to get the job.

This all is pretty normal for alot of people. The life story of failures. Doesnt keep me down, I am still proud of many things i have done, and only look down on people that don't see me for what I am really worth.

Back to my teens. This is were things went wrong. I started getting the wrong type of "friends". I started hanging in the streets with the wrong people. But it wasn't only me, it was also people that i know for a while coming with me. The same happend to my nephew, his friends picked him outta the gutter and toke care of him. These 2 groups were close related. The mainbond though was me and my nephew. The people we hung with were mostly dealers or users of drugs. And to indicate how known this group was, I have met people from 1000km away they knew where to visit "us". Nobody would lay a finger on my from my own group ( yes it wasnt always as nice ) cause they were scared of the group my nephew hung with. One did, and he came on his knees begging for forgiveness after my nephew and friends found out and "visited" him. I personally had nothing todo with the dealing, scaring people, threatening people. My finaly conflict was someone from our own group that was threatening me for fun with a knife. I wasnt to scared but toke alot of shit and he was warned that I might start a fight. I did, well actually I kicked once and had the luck that the knife didnt end up in my foot, but i kicked the knife and it closed with a finger of the other inbetween. Not the first time for me I sent someone to a hospital. From that moment on I left that group behind me. But it didnt end there.

Later while in a bar in the city, this guy visited me, with 2 HUGE "family members". This time the knife wasn't small at all, but it was a butchers knife used to chip meat with. I almost shitted myself when they held my hand and were threatening to chop it off. I cannot even remember how i got outta there in one piece, but the employees had something todo with it. The funny part is, once they "family members" found out what actually happend and that it was his own fault, they had nothing with me but they guy that sent them to me. This was yet another place I didnt feel safe anymore and again found new locations to goto.

In the end, sick of all threats, even though they didnt dare todo anything cause of ppl i knew, I moved and left everything behind me. Who knows what might happen the next time i meet them alone in the streets, or who else will popup arround the corner that all of a sudden knew my full name, where i lived and wanted to "speak" with me in a remote and silent location. The hardest part of my life, leaving what I actually did have behind me to start again.

Still, when i go back to the old city, alot of people still stay high and are friendly. Even from the criminal group of friends you have the people that seriously wanna know how you are doing etc. Each time i have such a conversation I feel it a bit. I have neva, till this date, met any people more loyal then the people I met then. Yes there are always problems in such situations but that only helps make clear who really are friends and who arent. And with friends i mean people that will help you fight, as example, if necessary and not like the average person say you shouldnt and stay outta one. When you deal with certain people, you just cant go outta the way of a fight.

My nephew has it worse. He is literally living undercover. He fled from his group of friends where people just stuck a knife in each others back. Another group is looking for them, and the police say that they cant do anything.

I wont say or agree that I am a criminal although I know alot about it and know many secrets the police would of liked to know in the time this all happend. I would neva help the police as they neva helped me. Some example: I had a group of 10-15 ppl running after me trying to kick my ass into the hospital. I ran past to police officers asking for some help, but not stopping as i saw this group closing in. They just stood there and watched. I heard that later when i finally found some safety they asked if everythinig was alright from the people that were after my cause of a stupid misunderstanding of a drunk bitch ( i have no good words for her after that incident ). Another example is where, yes again started by a female, I was the only one that dared to stand up to a few people, my big muscular friends ran pretty fast, and my nose was ripped open. The skin was ripped open deeply. Knowing police have a firstaid box in their car, so I asked something to stop it bleeding. They said nothing, closed the window and kept driving. These are just some examples of where i needed them and they just let me down.

Well, as you can see, I have a bit of a history. It's my history and made me what I am. I am not a criminal ( ok, ok, got arrested when i was young for stealing some chocolate, but that was the last time i stole as well ). I think this part of my life has changed me alot though as in not understanding our society, behaviour of people etc. The average person I meet now, and they are really average, treats each other like shit not knowing what they really have as friends. Fighting about minor stuff and not seeing the real issues arround them. People that just help kill what is left of society.

I hardly consider myself to have any real friends left, as compared to what i had, the new ones are hardly true friends.

As for my status now. I work fulltime and have a small company besides that. My jobs in my own small company are the best, and the ones I am proud of. I cannot give to many details but I can say they were for big national companies, one even had radio advertising. The last made me real proud. My customer list exists of state-owned companies, insurance companies and companies like that. They all had projects done by one man, and I am proud to be that one person, knowning that ammongst all things in my past I have reached something that gives me a reason to hold my head up for a change.

This is the true me. i went offtopic a few times, but this is how my life has been. I have been alone for years now, unable to adjust to the normal society as I think of most ppl as asses, just like i think about alot of EU players as asses. Very inconsiderate, unsocial, jackasses trying to be all that and a bit extra.

Last example of something that really made me pissed today was a simple question towards a group of highly educated collegues ( still underpaid compared to me though ). They refused to answer, which for me is refusing to help me learn more. I learn by asking questions. But to finish it off, one makes a remark only rubbing in that I neva finished school. Great, no answer to my question and a extra kick after. And these are supposed to be highly educated people. Sorry, but I cannot bring up respect for these types.

Well diary, this might give an idea of how the real squee is, though i will tell you the idea is probably wrong. Others may judge me based on this, I really could care less as many have judged me before. I know what I am worth and know i have proven to many they judged wrong.

 

[Squee]

After overcoming a possible electricity problem, my server just decided to break down on me. I had alot of luck as I was expecting days or installation and configuration while the old install worked fine with the new hardware. I am also finally outta financial problems without using extra loans or lending from friends and my server sucks money from me. My tax returns of 2005 are still due and almost time to get my tax returns for 2006. I will be a rich man ( in comparison with the last 6 months atleast ).

As for ingame, ive spent all my time mining in the last 2 months. I am almost only mining ores in game and the returns are fine. I have my occasional bad run, but the good runs usually make up for those. This is how i survived without being able to deposit since the summer. I have made 2 small deposits are my reserves were very low and with some extra i got some new equipment with SIB. I made my first baby steps as a miner as I finally reached 1k mining. I think I have 5 mining globals on my name by now as well and got 1 whole HP since I started to mine.

Back to the negative RL world...

I have also got to hear I will not get any raise on my salary this year. Even worse, I will be under constant inspection to check my productivity doesn't get any worse. Once I was the only programmer keeping this company alive for 9 months, now im almost useless.. To be honest, I knew this was coming, I let it get this far, and I still can care less. I have done alot for my employer and he has broken his word so often that I don't care todo anymore. This has totally wrecked me mentally, which is the cause of not getting a raise, and also the cause that finding a new job is very hard as I am very uncertain if I could even keep the new job with my current attitude and mental state.

And when searching for help, they dont say, hey, someone is breaking his word, the worthless bastard, nooo, they say, you should just accept it as thats normal human behavior. Here are some drugs to keep you happy. F*** those, im not taking them. I wanna normal world where people can behave normally. Just look at how gen was treated after purchasing a new hangar. People almost praise those people that 'attacked' him. They arent punished by anyone at all.. This masses are even sicker then I am.. Generally, these kinda things really bring the anger up in me, so much anger I would almost hurt someone. I would atleast like to see a list of names of pilots never to fly with anymore.. But gen joined the group that 'attacked' him..

 

[Squee]

Dead Diary,

It has been a long time since i posted. EU is treating me as shitty as it always did, and i am starting to suspect I am a masochist loving this. I just continu...

I will go back to VU8.7. Alot has changed then, atleast for my social life in EU. Several people I knew broke up in RL, either making one or two friend go offline. VU8.7 hit some members had that already had a low moral of the continuing lack of fixes of small bugs that have always existed.

Since then, alot of people i used to team with, people that were online and on chat every night, were gone. These were not new players unfortunately. But its part of life in EU. But the inactivity also hit the soc hard. Other members got down and either left due to the inactivity of the others. It was becoming one big snowball effect. But after a very constant activity, this was kinda unexpected. A new period in our history was to come soon. The Irken race was dying out.....

As I said in a topic about societies, This soc, which I started long ago, is one of the most important things I have in EU. I will maintain and try to keep it going as long as possible and as good as possible. So a feeling was growing todo a bug recruitment campain. But kicking has been lacking and rules in the soc wouldnt let me kick some people quickly. Thus we hit the member limit quickly before recruiting alot of fresh meat. After a discussion with the other leaders we came up for a new method of limiting members, making it slightly easier to keep an active core over time. The activity is nice now, and we still have 10 places empty. We went more international then before, where our american/canadian activity ( nobody from more south, atleast then ) was low but constant, became more active.

I hope we can find a healthy balance between these time zones. I know group forming will be an issue as older members talked about it in the past. But a nice balance would be good as well. Now to overcome problems like in soc events and their timing.

I am happy the soc is live and kicking again. I hope you guys have some good experiences with our new members.

EU, has been treating me like shit as I said. Mining isnt going to bad. I could be close to my first skill unlock after 6 months of small ammounts of mining. 6 globals in that time. one almost reached the hoflist actually.

I wont talk about hunting. Except an occasional high looter it feels like one big bottomless well. I am happy these days if i get 50% returns on 10k cells. The more i skill in EU, the more i deposit, the lesser my returns seme to get... Maybe thats why mining is doing OK, cause I just started that ( skill wise ).

I have also been trying to buy a hangar. I thought I wouldnt try to invest from my personal one man company. I had problems explaining to myself how much it would cost seeming i have no clue about returns. But I thought I would try. Several have been sold for a price lower then I would of offered, atleast ones i actually had my eyes on. I cannot appreciate the fact that one was bought for a price lower then I would of offered, but 2 or 3 months later was on sale again for 20k more. By now the prices are to high for my likings, its not even close to fun anymore. I ended without a hangar and keeping alot of cash in RL.

The whole venture of trying to get a hangar actually got me to realize something. My EU life will not last. There are still 2 things that actually keep me going, but if those are gone, I probably will be as well. I see or have no hope anymore after these 2+ years. I lost alot, left with nothing, still dont even have 50k skills, and hardly can get myself to actually try to get more.

Another another note, most of you have heard about my app, NRF ( named by Sir_Odd ), and I have had many positive replies from it. I thank ya all for these replies as it always gives me a big smile to see them. Its been long since I published a project publically, and i forgot that such replies really make it worth it.

In RL, well my life has been put up side down, kinda, since the new year. I am on meds that really screws with me and my memory, but I am using them in the hope I can sleep better. In the meanwhile I have been threatend to lose my job without any rights on my side, cause I cannot sleep normally, I am late at work almost daily, and I mean 4-5hours to late. I know 3 other family members with the same problem where meds hardly work either, so it kinda seems I got the same problem now as well. The only difference is they can wake up on time, while i dont even hear one of my 3 alarmsclocks.

Financially I am doing well again Almost paid off all debts except for 300 euros ( can pay this month ). Going to finally get my tax returns for 2005 which is almost the value of a Hangar ( when I was still interested in them atleast). No need to work ages in EU to withdraw a few peds, just need to bring my paperwork to an accountant

 

[Squee]

Dear Diary,

A quick update as much has happend since the last entry. It not just hunting and mining and standing arround anymore. Shortly after my last post, I saw a post on the forum about a hangar, and saw the light. I had some hope again.

I started PM'ing the seller, which suggested meeting online. So I sprinted home asap after work, and got online. After some discussion about the price and how the deal was going to "go down", we came to an agreement. All I needed now was the money.

The idea was that I would make one last big deposit, and from there earn the peds in game to play. I was sick of depositing after 2 years to only see the returns going for the worse instead of better. So I went to the bank, knowing my credit should be good, even though ive had many financial issues in RL, and was in there for 2 hours with alot of paperwork etc. But I got the money.

Now to deposit. I heard a banktransfer was the best option. But I could choose to deposit in EURo's. What was better? Whats was MA's calculation method if i used euros to convert them to dollars and then peds? Is it like the price at the bank or the actual current rate without the extra fees? After a support case, I learned it was the latter ( MA, you could post this under FAQ's ) As far as I could see, MA did not charge me anything and gave me the actual exchange rate, without fees for exhanging it. Within 2 days I had the money in EU and the deal went down.

First off, I went for some test rides to find the costs out. I toke some Irken Buddies with me for free. One stayed on CP, and the other 2 came with me to CND.

2 days later, I wanted to go down again, my last journey i didnt know the costs about. I had one passanger that came up that wanted to go back, and had 3 empty seats. So I went to the control room up on CND and offer some free seats back. Rex was selling as well at the time, and I guess he already had his heat as it was pretty quite there any nobody attacked me about the free rides.

I soon had some others that wanted to go up again, including some soc members. So we went back up. But once I was up, a soc mate notified me that there were no flights in twins. So I asked, to get me a full ship and I would try to get back down. To get down fast, I was in the CR again offering flight for 5 ped. This is when I got a little heat. Not much, and only pitiful attempts to speak french in the hope I wouldnt understand. Ofcourse I flew back down as the first, and got my fullship back up. By then he had another flight going up. So without much doubts, I just flew down quickly again and picked up the others. After he found a third ship full in twin he was taking heat from other pilot that apparently were waiting for him to stop. He stopped after that.

Since then I have done several flights a day, getting passangers in a short time, and trying to strike a good deal with each of them. Sometime flying for just or equal to my expensis.

This whole pilot fight situation just made me have alot of fun, at others expensis. Their tantrums were my fun. If you wonder, if ill ever join them. I wanted to, but after their remarks and comments towards me, they pissed me off. So why eva work with them? The one calling us an idiot and f**kers was a member of the Utopik soc btw . (S)he was the rudest pilot I have ever met. According to their standards were f**kers cause we fly cheaper. The choise is up to you..

Beside all this pilot stuff..

I have done some mining and hunting. I got myself the 6a's I wanted for a long time. I have spent alot of ammo against drones/warriors and troopers in that set and loved my vigi with my new 6a's I dunno what was going on that night, but I was teaming with a soc mate, and were both wondering what was going on. Our skills were skyrocketing where we normally got 1 or 2 levels for every 10k ammo. We now got almost 5 times that ammount on average. I am sure I am going to try it again sometime.

I have also see 3 people global within 5m from me in a weeks time. Kinda annoying, but an hour after the 3rd I got my own global finally, and slightly before I looted a nicely repaired just. mkII. That means that most thing I regularly use, except armor + attach + faps, I have also looted some time in my EU history. To bad the prices of most of those items experienced deflation but ah well, its the idea that counts..

Thats about it.. I am going online to try and do a few more flights .. If your ever looking for a cheap pilot, contact me

 

[Squee]

Dear Diary,

Another period has past. A new time of my existance here on Calypso has really started. Thanks to my hangar I have more to offer to our soc and feel less limited in EU as if i need something I just need to fly a few times. I dont have any major wishes as it is. But since this new period has started, the more pissed I am also getting. I am between two parties, one that makes my time worthwhile and one that really gets on my nerves at times.

So instead of mentioning all the positive things that have happend to me, I really feel like a rant about the negative sides.

I will start about loots. This constant change seems to happen slowly easy update. Where I started in EU with very stable loots, I now usually have very bad loots on average while hunting. When you get a good loot, it is good, but until you have that its like flushing my cash. This seems to get worse overtime then better. I wonder how much influence the devblog reply about how loots worked a bit had on the hunting. Certain mobs are just not worth it anymore while others are nice to hunt.

I havent done alot of mining lately. I have some good and some pad periods. Nothing special there.

My NRF project is doing ok. It's daily ammount of user ( based on version checking ) grows steadily over the months. It has already reached more then 100 active users daily a while ago and still growing. I am getting many positive replied about this project, but the last version where I added some threading really game some problems. I feel bad about that as I had no intent for users to have all these issues. Only one big issue left, while im working on NRF Live and started testing mirroring.

As for piloting. Well I don't fly much yet, dont have much steady clients but those that I have flown appear to be very happy and appreciative over the service and pricing. The only down side is this "line". And I am going to rant about this. I have been called MF, Ba*d, Exploiter, Cheater and I dunno what and I do hate it and report most cases to MA. People have said I am disrepectful, which really pissed me off. More and more people are said to hate me, including passengers, which is fine by me. I can't be loved by all and im not here for a popularity contest. I have come to a point that even sarcastic remarks are far from appreciated. What has it been, a month since the line got several competitors at the same time. And they are still complaining etc.

If anyone can prove I have been disrespectful to anyone please do so, otherwise shut your mouth. If I create hate against me tell me why? I see no reason unless someone cant stand that they are being competed with, as I havent treated anyone with disrepect even the ones constant nagging. I compete with the "line" and the other pilots yes. Very typical that all badmouthing comes from people in the "line" and no my other competition. So far I have been very patient, when competeting in the same area. I have always waited till partly filled flights of the so call "line" pilots were full before advertising.

Btw, ever notice that if there is competition in the area, some pilots drop their prices about 25-40% to compete with them, otherwise your paying the full price. So even if we dont sell the seats, we do get the customers the discounts.

Ah well, every time I see pilots waiting for a long time cause of any competition, doesnt hafta be me, it puts a big smile on my face and anyone I tell this joke with. Yes most of them have become a joke for me. A pathetic creature, so called humans, talking about respect etc without knowledge what it means. The types where their genital length in inches represents their IQ. By saying this I guess I do disrepect them, but am always polite in game, and this only started after one saying I am disrespectfull before I actually was What a revelation this is to me.

Ow, and ofcourse the "line" has some polite pilots, but the ammount of impolite ones that I have met is growing. Thus making it more worthwile to compete. Competeting against friendly people is no fun.

Its alot of pilots ranting but thats what I am up to mostly, besides fixing NRF and doing some other projects in RL. I thank all the people that choose for me as their pilot, help me find passengers and/or recommend passengers towards me.