Hmm, seems like the discussion is kinda over, but I'd like to drop my final
here.
First of all, my other two posts here were made in jest, since I figured the first post by the threadstarter in itself was, and thus it didn't occur to me that I might have to make that clear with smileys and/or disclaimers. I really got the impression that the girls took this thread and my jokes as some kind of offense, though, since almost all of the posts by females was some serious explanation/criticism/stab towards us men. Granted, I did learn a whole lot from what they wrote, but I wouldn't feel the slightest need of defending my gender, if the same kind of topic was posted by a girl, making fun of men's way of thinking and actions. I would probably even laugh with them, like I laughed at forgos post describing how men cuss at their tools when they can't fix something, which is quite true, and to which I can even relate. I'm not saying this trying to prove a point that I, or men are better than women, because they took a joke seriously. But once again, I can say that I learned quite a bit from the girl's replies, especially since, I'm 18 now, so frankly, I've never really made any efforts to try and understand the other gender, like I think practically no one at my age has.
And for your interest, MindStar9, I'm not married, neither dating at the time of this writing, neither do I want to be. I already have dated three girls for a few months each, but in the end I broke up with each one of them, in a peaceful manner, of course, no arguing was involved. For the time being, I adopted the "Carpe Diem" Filosophy, so dating/marrying will wait until I have no more time to, or get tired of fooling around without any commitment with girls, or until I just plain, simply change my mind. Honestly, I don't believe in life-lasting love. I prefer to stick with the girl as long as it lasts, but not get into something too serious like marriage, because it's almost sure that it will end someday.
Changing the subject a little, now, some of the replies by the girls really made me laugh a little, but not in a bellitling way, just that they proved some of legion's points in the first post true, without being quite aware of it, I think. For example, Mikah (sorry, this is not meant as an attack) posted several times that she agrees with Aliana's point of view of a household having to be run as organizedly as a business establishment, how it annoys her when it isn't done like that and how she hates to repeat herself when that happens, only to post later that rules are meant to be broken. Made me think of that point in legion's first post that tells men to abandon all logic.
I'm one of those that thinks both genders are as much flawed/gifted as the other one, but in different ways, and I don't mean to show that men are "superior" or anything like that with what I'm about to write, so all you feminists out there, or girls who simply took this thread's concept seriously, are advised to read it really carefully, think it through, avaliate themselves and even take it with a grain of salt, especially since it was written by a male.
So, here's
my concept of why each gender can't understand it's opposite
:
Men's thoughts and actions are based on logic, mostly, except, like forgo said, when upset, for example when they want to fix something, can't accomplish it, and yell at the tool or toss it away. They usually act according to what they think is needed for physical/practical things like work, with small, to no influence by their current mood, or external factors that may influence their emotions.
The male's way of thinking, or dare I say, mind, is based on this:
1 + 1 = 2
And they think it applies to everything and everyone, always. And when they have huge arguments with their partners, they simply can't seem to understand them, neither get their own point across. In arguments, some can just pretend they've understood, some think they have understood but in fact haven't, some just don't care and rarely do a very select few ever really understand their partner, regardless of agreeing or still disagreeing with him/her afterwards (that applies for both genders).
Now, to the way females think:
Females thoughts and actions are based on their own mood and emotions and their way of thinking is greatly dependant on factors that influence their feelings.
Continuing the example given to the way men's minds work:
For females the equation
1 + 1 = 2 is not always right. It's as if for them
1 might not actually be the number 1 in itself, but a symbol that could represent anything else, like X. And that isn't a wrong way of thinking either, but it complicates something that didn't need complications.
And women expect men to know that, and think the same beforehand, which generates all the conflicts.
So let's take that famous example again: a girl is telling a man about her problems.
-The man thinks: "If she's telling me about a problem, then she must want me to do something about it, what other reason would there be for it?"
(
1 + 1 = 2).
-The girl thinks: "I'm venting on him, because I' just need to get this off my chest, why does he keep on thinking I'm asking for help?".
(
X + X may just sometimes be = 2)
So it all comes down to men interpreting the more simply logical scenario, it doesn't occur to men that it might be something else. And the women assume men must know and/or think through all possible scenarios, and due to his previous experiences figure out which one it truly is. Even the very fact that I chose to use equations (pure and simple logic) to demonstrate my theory may illustrate that.
End of my theory.
My (male) conclusion
:
Girls should think beforehand what it will seem like to their partner when they start something, figure a way to at least hint what their goal is or just make it clear right away, and not just assume that he will just know what it is all about. Put yourself in our position and try to think of the simplest thing it will seem like. Try to imagine the man telling you what you are thinking of telling him, and the reaction you would have (unless it has something to do with pregnancy, lol).
To those girls that think that they have men all figured out, and think that it is men's obligation to know what your goal is when you start something, how come you complain that men don't understand you? If you understand men, don't you think that you should be able to get your point across with no problems? Think about it.
So,
I honestly think it is easier for women to try and make their motives clear to men, because women are extremely hard to understand. Men are predictable, and assume women should act like them. Girls, stop waiting for the cow to lay an egg, it won't happen! Instead make life easier for both:
say what you mean! But that's just my (
slightly biased) idea for a solution...
Oh, and let me take the chance that no one took on Mikah's offer on having a question answered (I really mean the question, it's not a joke): What's with girls and bathroom trips? I mean, I know they go to discuss private stuff, but can't they just silently do it in the place they're in? Men can discuss all the private kind of things right on the spot, speaking lowly, or using codes, or something, why must women bother to group up and venture into the distant bathroom?
Lastly, I just want to make it clear, that no matter what I said in jest in my other posts and what my position may seem to be, towards arguing with females, I'm one of those that thinks arguing should not even happen in the first place. Maybe a little discussion now and then, but getting stressed over something, just ain't worth it. Like sob said: the healthiest thing to do is just agree to disagree.
Sorry for the lengthy post and if it lights up the discussion again, when it was supposed to be dead now that all seemed to be "peaceful".
).
