Ragna Rock
Old Alpha
- Joined
- May 27, 2005
- Posts
- 885
- Location
- Bosnia and Hercegovina
- Society
- M2E
- Avatar Name
- Ragna Ragna Rock
I was never much into gambling... actually always passed next to the gambling booths and dens, never saw the thrill of a cassino, until a few years ago, when I went there for fun with my girlfriend...
This night I gained big, around 10k PED with 100 PED risk (since the gain was in euro and im not much into converting into dollar, etc... Ill give the amounts in a currency everyone understands here), after that night I went to the cassino from time to time, I always thouht that Im regulary well off, no big losses but if I gained I gained 2 or 3 times what I invested... it went like this for a year, the bets got bigger, also the gaines, and I didnt even understood that I have a problem until I got 200k PED on 12k invested.... someone would say "gratz!" but I saw the money dripping out of my hands day by day... Ive actually spend it in less than a month, im just glad that I didnt retrieve the full amount to the cassino, but spent the most on my girlfriend and familly. the rest amount... around 50k PED was sent back to the cassino... in 2 days... maybe it was more though Im not quite sure, since I didnt keep track of the money, just spent it... 2 days after Ive spent the last dime of the 200k my dad died... he had a brain tumor which caused a heavy bleading, he wasnt a rich man, and he didnt have any considerable savings so I had to scrap together what was left on my bank acc in order to finance a part of the funeral at least. As everything passed I was thinking that I can get the 200k again, so Ive lent some cash, lost it, lent some more and lost it, lent again, lost again... it was a rush to regain the lost money and to profit in the cassino, but it didnt went out like planned, my luck left me... In the end of the rush, having only the taxi cash in my pocket I was still thinking where to get more cash in order to finaly "profit"... next to me was a guy putting 1k PED after the other into a slot mashine, sweating,... not accepting 30k gaines to leave, just putting in more and more... I started to chat with him, asked him how his night is (he was sitting on the slot I was planing to get big on it), he said: "not to well, I just lost 300k PED this night)...
It made click in my head...
what did I expect to get, playing the same bets as him, with the 10k I might have been able to lend somewhere in order to play again.. when he was loosing 300k? I would have been just deeper in the shit...
recently... actually the past 15 days Im visiting a shrink, the diagnosis is PG (pathological gambling) my behaviour fit 8 of 10 symptoms, the rise of stakes due to depression, putting my friends, family and work on stake, lying to my surrounding, etc...
The doctor told me that the only way to solve this problem is to confront it, to see the results of what Ive done, and to tell people who are close to me that I have a problem...
My coming out, was different accepted... My boss for instance, the owner of the company for which Im the director at the moment is a man who understand the problem as an illness, but I asked myself to keep me away from any company cash for an undefined time period, since my thoughts have been going in the direction to lend from there...
My mother,... she became worried, but does anything to support me in this time...
My girlfriend... she continued to gamble, but keeps me away from it,... my and her gambling behavior is different, she is controling herself and I was risking big,
My friends.. they spend the days with me, and are happy to see that I stopped gambling sofar, and that I have no draw back, but seriously try to solve the problem, some of them turned their back on me, are disgusted by the amounts I played, knowing the situation home...
You might ask yourself why Ive choosen this type of topic?
well, let me explain you one thing...
I guess it was 5 or 6 years ago, when I logged in for the first time in EU... I was looking for ways to earn cash without depositing, since my income by than didnt allow me to invest anything...
I was playing small, and had a lot of luck, some called me the most lucky avatar by the time, since in my first month of playing I had a shitload of globals, a few hofs and 2 uberhofs, including a camo arms jungle stalker, a 1.2k PED maffo (we are talking about 2002)...
I played and lost, played and lost, always starting from the rags to bring myself up...
Than I had this great idea... I had a lot of influent friends in EU, people from top socs, my mentor was a master trader, who had also hughe connections, and we both had a great reputation for trades... we started to do comissioning...
we earned a nice amount of cash,... some of the deals we had are part of EU history, for instance the first ever looted formicacida scale. But than I fucked it up...
The trust of our clients has been so big that for instance I got personaly around 200k PED without colateral in order to buy a LA for a wellknown player without any collateral. He got the money back without 1 PED beeing missing, since I wasnt able to close the deal...
The fuck up:
Amps have just been brought to EU (mining amps), and I switched professions from hunter to miner, CND was also the hit...
than the EU gambling started... I was not skilled enough, but I was chasing my luck with OA103 and on CND.... spent all my cash... sold most of my inventory, sold most of my not mining related skills, and than done something Ive never thought about that Ive been able to do it...
I have lent 10k PED from a friend, in order to invest in a bussines, to bring myself up, but it hooked me again and I lost everything what was in my posession,, I was sure Ill get one of those uber hofs, if I only go for it...
didnt got it...
This was the first time gambling dragged me to the bottom...
I felt like shit, and still feel like it... since this was the most stupid thing I could have done... Not only that Ive taken the money from a client, ruining the reputation of my bussines and thus the bussines... I lost friends, many of them... I stopped playing, only waiting for the day to come back and repay what I owe... Even though I was scammed myself several times, last time during my 6 months break, where around 3k PED of my belongings is gone, including skills, armors and weapons... but I always saw it as the justice from above...
Ive never changed the avatar though, standing towards my responsibility... taking the blame...
But I also lied to the people who are close to me, in regard to the reasons why I dont have the cash... I didnt accept myself until 2 weeks ago, that Im gambling addicted...
And it all started here...
Like I said before... its 15 days ago, that I gambled for the last time... I banned myself from the cassino for the next 6 months.
Came back to EU to clean the bills Ive left, just need to get my bussines up again, and to deposit what Im able to depo.
Im not asking anyone for forgivness or understanding, just want to warn newbies who get big...
A big gain, if you dont control your temper, can be the entry ticket to gambling addiction... You are not guaranteed to get again a similllar amount, since this is a game of chance, you can make profit, if you play clever, and not dare to much, you need to calculate your budget, and never, but never sell your inventory in order to finance a run, but make your assets grow bigger from gains.... Hunt, mine, and craft in harmony with your skill levels, there is the biggest chance to profit in the long run.
The truth is, a bigger mob, amp, or bigger lvl bp are more likely to make you rich in a few clicks, but they are also more likely to ruin you in a day...
Please dont repeat my misstakes, since those can cost you much more than money...
Now the truth is finaly out...
This night I gained big, around 10k PED with 100 PED risk (since the gain was in euro and im not much into converting into dollar, etc... Ill give the amounts in a currency everyone understands here), after that night I went to the cassino from time to time, I always thouht that Im regulary well off, no big losses but if I gained I gained 2 or 3 times what I invested... it went like this for a year, the bets got bigger, also the gaines, and I didnt even understood that I have a problem until I got 200k PED on 12k invested.... someone would say "gratz!" but I saw the money dripping out of my hands day by day... Ive actually spend it in less than a month, im just glad that I didnt retrieve the full amount to the cassino, but spent the most on my girlfriend and familly. the rest amount... around 50k PED was sent back to the cassino... in 2 days... maybe it was more though Im not quite sure, since I didnt keep track of the money, just spent it... 2 days after Ive spent the last dime of the 200k my dad died... he had a brain tumor which caused a heavy bleading, he wasnt a rich man, and he didnt have any considerable savings so I had to scrap together what was left on my bank acc in order to finance a part of the funeral at least. As everything passed I was thinking that I can get the 200k again, so Ive lent some cash, lost it, lent some more and lost it, lent again, lost again... it was a rush to regain the lost money and to profit in the cassino, but it didnt went out like planned, my luck left me... In the end of the rush, having only the taxi cash in my pocket I was still thinking where to get more cash in order to finaly "profit"... next to me was a guy putting 1k PED after the other into a slot mashine, sweating,... not accepting 30k gaines to leave, just putting in more and more... I started to chat with him, asked him how his night is (he was sitting on the slot I was planing to get big on it), he said: "not to well, I just lost 300k PED this night)...
It made click in my head...
what did I expect to get, playing the same bets as him, with the 10k I might have been able to lend somewhere in order to play again.. when he was loosing 300k? I would have been just deeper in the shit...
recently... actually the past 15 days Im visiting a shrink, the diagnosis is PG (pathological gambling) my behaviour fit 8 of 10 symptoms, the rise of stakes due to depression, putting my friends, family and work on stake, lying to my surrounding, etc...
The doctor told me that the only way to solve this problem is to confront it, to see the results of what Ive done, and to tell people who are close to me that I have a problem...
My coming out, was different accepted... My boss for instance, the owner of the company for which Im the director at the moment is a man who understand the problem as an illness, but I asked myself to keep me away from any company cash for an undefined time period, since my thoughts have been going in the direction to lend from there...
My mother,... she became worried, but does anything to support me in this time...
My girlfriend... she continued to gamble, but keeps me away from it,... my and her gambling behavior is different, she is controling herself and I was risking big,
My friends.. they spend the days with me, and are happy to see that I stopped gambling sofar, and that I have no draw back, but seriously try to solve the problem, some of them turned their back on me, are disgusted by the amounts I played, knowing the situation home...
You might ask yourself why Ive choosen this type of topic?
well, let me explain you one thing...
I guess it was 5 or 6 years ago, when I logged in for the first time in EU... I was looking for ways to earn cash without depositing, since my income by than didnt allow me to invest anything...
I was playing small, and had a lot of luck, some called me the most lucky avatar by the time, since in my first month of playing I had a shitload of globals, a few hofs and 2 uberhofs, including a camo arms jungle stalker, a 1.2k PED maffo (we are talking about 2002)...
I played and lost, played and lost, always starting from the rags to bring myself up...
Than I had this great idea... I had a lot of influent friends in EU, people from top socs, my mentor was a master trader, who had also hughe connections, and we both had a great reputation for trades... we started to do comissioning...
we earned a nice amount of cash,... some of the deals we had are part of EU history, for instance the first ever looted formicacida scale. But than I fucked it up...
The trust of our clients has been so big that for instance I got personaly around 200k PED without colateral in order to buy a LA for a wellknown player without any collateral. He got the money back without 1 PED beeing missing, since I wasnt able to close the deal...
The fuck up:
Amps have just been brought to EU (mining amps), and I switched professions from hunter to miner, CND was also the hit...
than the EU gambling started... I was not skilled enough, but I was chasing my luck with OA103 and on CND.... spent all my cash... sold most of my inventory, sold most of my not mining related skills, and than done something Ive never thought about that Ive been able to do it...
I have lent 10k PED from a friend, in order to invest in a bussines, to bring myself up, but it hooked me again and I lost everything what was in my posession,, I was sure Ill get one of those uber hofs, if I only go for it...
didnt got it...
This was the first time gambling dragged me to the bottom...
I felt like shit, and still feel like it... since this was the most stupid thing I could have done... Not only that Ive taken the money from a client, ruining the reputation of my bussines and thus the bussines... I lost friends, many of them... I stopped playing, only waiting for the day to come back and repay what I owe... Even though I was scammed myself several times, last time during my 6 months break, where around 3k PED of my belongings is gone, including skills, armors and weapons... but I always saw it as the justice from above...
Ive never changed the avatar though, standing towards my responsibility... taking the blame...
But I also lied to the people who are close to me, in regard to the reasons why I dont have the cash... I didnt accept myself until 2 weeks ago, that Im gambling addicted...
And it all started here...
Like I said before... its 15 days ago, that I gambled for the last time... I banned myself from the cassino for the next 6 months.
Came back to EU to clean the bills Ive left, just need to get my bussines up again, and to deposit what Im able to depo.
Im not asking anyone for forgivness or understanding, just want to warn newbies who get big...
A big gain, if you dont control your temper, can be the entry ticket to gambling addiction... You are not guaranteed to get again a similllar amount, since this is a game of chance, you can make profit, if you play clever, and not dare to much, you need to calculate your budget, and never, but never sell your inventory in order to finance a run, but make your assets grow bigger from gains.... Hunt, mine, and craft in harmony with your skill levels, there is the biggest chance to profit in the long run.
The truth is, a bigger mob, amp, or bigger lvl bp are more likely to make you rich in a few clicks, but they are also more likely to ruin you in a day...
Please dont repeat my misstakes, since those can cost you much more than money...
Now the truth is finaly out...
Ill swim up, just had to post this for all the people who got affected by my ludomanie, and to progress with solving my problem
