The internet can be a powerful aphrodisiac. This power comes from its ability to add new dimensions to the written word and to alter the experiences of time, space, and social connections - conditions that are missing from the real world, but are unique to the virtual world.
While my Master's Thesis pertains to "The Relationship Between Unmet Needs in a Marriage or Mutually Exclusive Relationship and the Potential for Infidelity" my indepth research encompassed not only traditional (IRL) relationships, but internet-based relationships as well. I also did extensive research with regard to gender differences that pertain to physiology and psychology that relate to attachment, expectations, cognitive function, communication, intimacy, emotional vs. sexual, and relationship satisfaction.
The bottomline? ... it's very much a possibility to meet someone online in a variety of mediums that foster both psychologically and emotionally-based relationships prior to ever meeting IRL. While it is acknowledged that online communication lacks many of the physical and nonverbal cues made available in face-to-face communication, many theorists reject the idea that this "lack" represents an insurmountable obstacle to the development of close personal relationships. Instead, it is argued that text-based cues and the augmentation of computer-mediated relating with other forms of communication render online relationships as intimate and personally fulfilling as any other.
In RL society, visual cues primarily motivate our interests, and a physical chemistry is generally not far behind. Depending on the physical chemistry, there may also be an undisclosed level of sexual tension that has the ability to cloud the focus of communication at the depth required to "really" get to know each other. As such, this process then becomes a more expanded interaction with the potential of physical intimacy taking a more prominent place in relationship building.
Again, in a culture that emphasizes physical attractiveness, the internet provides a different way of developing attraction. It is a world where what you write, not how you look or sound, is who you are. Online communication allows individuals more control over how they present themselves and what they tell others about themselves. This opens the possibility of people becoming acquainted before evaluating each other based upon physical appearance.
Stereotypical assumptions about the personality of an individual based upon physical attributes, which are often inaccurate, may be postponed until more factual knowledge is known about that person. This provides a model of intimate yet separate relating and it allows more freedom to deviate from typically constraining gender roles that are often automatically invoked in face-to-face interactions.
Also, anonymity may provide a greater sense of perceived control over the content, tone, and nature of the online experience, and can often facilitate more honest and open communication. The same for increased feelings of comfort because there is a decreased ability to look for, and thus detect, signs of insincerity, disapproval, or judgment in facial expressions, as would be typical in face-to-face interactions.
Everyone needs interpersonal contact, social recognition, and a sense of belonging. Passion is the intoxication of love, and it is alive and thriving on the internet for sure. Almost all activities in cyberspace, not unlike all activities IRL, address the most basic of human needs ... the need to interact with other humans.
So ... can we connect in a way that stimulates passion and desire ... sure! Can we connect in a way that stimulates and speaks to our emotional needs ... absolutely! Can this stimulation motivate us in a way that causes behaviors that drive us to levels of emotional intensity to the point of impatiently waiting for the next email, PM, or connection online ... without a doubt.
Personally ... I met Blood Moon (Moonie) on July 14th last year standing in front of the Fort Fury auctioneer. He said hello, introduced himself as a noob, and asked a few questions. The rest they say is "history" because within the course of a year, we gradually developed the connection into a very special friendship, and eventually into a level of love for each other based not on physical interaction, but rather on intellectual and emotional interaction. The virtual world (and especially our interaction in EU) gave us an opportunity to explore aspects of ourselves that perhaps might have taken a great deal longer IRL.
Now ... where this relationship is heading may be another story. We have made plans to meet IRL, but then we all need to be realistic in this respect, because there's always that possibility that the transition into RL may not be as successful as the virtual relationship. VF and Lykke's story is truly a testament that internet and/or virtual connections can successfully transfer into RL. My hope for them is that what they found together in the virtual world first will always be there, and will enhance the IRL components that afford them true success toward longevity in their relationship.
My apology if this may have seemed more clinical than necessary, but based on my personal and professional training and experience, I've gained a respectful understanding of the dynamics of relationships, both IRL and virtual. If there's one thing I've learned in all of this, and it's quite basic really, is that we all would like someone to love and to be loved back. It seems that the virtual world can be just as much a conduit for relationships that have the potential to succeed as IRL. There needs to be an intelligence about it, as well as a caution, but it's definitely possible.
For those who wake up and can't wait to turn their computers on to see if there are emails, or if your special someone is waiting on Skype or Team Speak to hear your voice, or ingame so that you can share yet another virtual moment together ... delight in these experiences and embrace the possibilities, but know that emotions are just as fragile in the virtual world as they are IRL.
I wish the best for you Phaser ... enjoy the journey!
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still single tho.
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<3
