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Thread: Vortexy's Diary

  1. #101
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    Talking 100th Post!

    Marking my 100th post in the diary with an experiment.

    Typoglycemia


    I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch taem at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn 't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Such a cdonition is arppoiately cllaed Typoglycemia -

    Amzanig huh? Yaeh and yuo awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt.

  2. #102
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    Cool Wednesday, March 29, 2006

    Man.. A lot of work piling up again. Gotta spend more time doing work instead of playing PE at office!

    The Soc seems to be growing steadily. Lots of active players are in JB now. Though we are considered a 'noob' soc, we had fun.


    Why Woman Lies

    One day, a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river And her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked," Why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and she needed the thimble to make her living. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden thimble. " Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "No." The Lord again went down and came up with a silver thimble. "Is this your thimble?" Again the seamstress replied, "No." The Lord went down again and came up with a wooden thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. "The seamstress replied, "Yes."

    The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all the three thimble to keep. And the seamstress went home happy. Some time later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank and her husband fell into the river. When she cried out the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?" "Oh, Lord, my husband has fallen into the water!"

    The Lord went down into the water and came up with Mel Gibson. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked." Yes," cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious, "You lied! That is an untruth!"

    The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Mel Gibson, you would have come up with Tom Cruise. Then if I said 'no' to him you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor woman and not able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S WHY I said yes to Mel Gibson."

    Moral of this story is:
    Whenever a woman lies, it is for a good and honorable reason for the benefit of others!!!!!!!!!!

  3. #103
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    Lightbulb Points To Ponder

    MAYONNAISE JAR and 2 CUPS OF COFFEE

    When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

    A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

    He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it
    was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

    He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it
    was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

    He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

    The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

    "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to
    recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the
    important things - God, family, children, health, friends, and favorite passions -- things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

    The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.

    The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.

    "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no
    room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

    So... Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

    Play With your children.
    Take time to get medical checkups.
    Take your partner out to dinner.
    Play another 18.
    There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

    "Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter.
    Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

    One of the students raised her hand and inquired what does the coffee represent?

    The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.
    It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

  4. #104
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    Cool Thursday, March 30, 2006

    Damn it! Ped card shows 0.00 after countless 'no loots' messages. Even a 3k HoF is insufficient for a month's hunt. So with the minerals and ores colelcted during this one month will be used for crafting. The 'basic filters and basic relays' will be TT food as it seems they have no value in the market.

    Serendipity still remained locked. Skilling like mad but still no results? Think I need to hit 5k to unlock it.

    Kenny The Rooster

    Kenny the rooster cost a lot of money, but the farmer
    decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Kenny.

    The farmer takes Kenny home and sets him down in the
    barnyard, first, giving the rooster a pep talk.

    "I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of
    chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money.
    Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take
    your time and have some fun," the farmer said, with
    a chuckle.

    Kenny seemed to understand, so the farmer pointed toward
    the Hen house and Kenny took off like a shot. WHAM!-
    Kenny nails every hen in the hen house- three or four
    times, and the farmer is really shocked.

    After that the farmer hears a commotion in the duck
    pen, sure enough, Kenny is in there.

    Later, the farmer sees Kenny after a flock of geese,
    down by the lake. Once again - WHAM! He gets all the
    geese.

    By sunset he sees Kenny out in the fields chasing quail
    and pheasants. The farmer is distraught and worried
    that his expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours.
    Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the
    next day,to find Kenny on his back, stone cold in the
    middle of the yard, vultures are circling overhead.

    The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colourful
    and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh,
    Kenny, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you
    to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."

    Kenny opens one eye, nods toward the vultures circling
    in the sky and says, "Shhh, they're getting closer".

  5. #105
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    Talking Cracked Pot

    Sometimes people with low skills/peds are a worthy member of a soc too.



    An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck.



    One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.



    At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.



    For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.



    Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.



    After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.



    "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."



    The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?

    That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and everyday while we walk back, YOU water them.

    For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.

    Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."



    EACH OF US HAS OUR OWN UNIQUE FLAW(s).



    But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.



    You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.



    To all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the

    flowers, on your side of the path!

  6. #106
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    Talking The Letter T

    A young wife, who was becoming frustrated with her
    young husband constant demands for sex, decides to
    make a schedule for him, to cut down on the amount of
    times that they will have to make love for the
    rest of their marriage.

    While getting ready for work, she writes on a piece of
    paper, "Honey,you know I love you, but your never
    ending requests for sex are leaving me drained and
    really tired. So I propose that we only have sex on
    days that start with the letter 'T', to minimise the
    frequency of our lovemaking sessions. Don't be mad at
    me honey, just understand where I am coming from, and
    let me know if my request is too demanding of you."

    On her way out the door, she uses a refrigerator
    magnet and sticks the note to the fridge
    door,hoping that her sex craved husband will be understanding
    and accepting of her proposal when he reads it.

    Upon returning home, she glances at the refrigerator
    and notices that her note has been replaced with a
    note from her husband that reads,"Baby, I didn't'
    realise that I was putting you under so much pressure
    and I'm sorry.I accept your proposal and have even
    taken the extra step of listing at the bottom of this
    letter, those days starting with the letter 'T' to
    make sure that we are on the same page.

    1. TUESDAY
    2. THURSDAY
    3. TODAY
    4. TOMORROW

    P.S. I love you too, and remember it's still TODAY, I
    am waiting for you upstairs."

  7. #107
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    Cool Sunday, April 2, 2006

    Seems like a lot of people are laguhing their head off with the jokes/stories here. Cool, at least the objective of 'Laughter The Best Medicine' was achieved.

    Sad to say losing big peds in forum. Went with Mike to oil rig and got pawned. Hunted ambulimax and loot was lousy (only to see another guy got 200 pedder).

    Forgive Your Enemies

    The preacher's Sunday sermon was "Forgive Your Enemies".
    Toward the end of the service he asked his congregation,
    "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" About
    half held up their hands. He then repeated his question.
    As it was past lunchtime, this time about 80 percent
    held up their hands. He then repeated his question again.
    All responded, except one small elderly lady.

    "Mrs.Jones," inquired the preacher, "are you not willing
    to forgive your enemies?"

    "I don't have any." she replied, smiling sweetly.

    "Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

    "Ninety-three." she replied.

    "Oh Mrs. Jones, what a blessing and a lesson to us all
    you are. Would you please come down in front of this
    congregation and tell us all how a person can live ninety-
    three years and not have an enemy in the world."

    The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle,
    faced the congregation, and said: "I outlived the bitches.

  8. #108
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    Talking What Were YOU Thinking?

    Statues

    For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female,
    faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel
    came down from heaven.

    "You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to
    them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm
    going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes,
    in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap
    of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.

    The two approached each other a bit shyly , but soon
    dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a
    good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches.
    Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from
    the bushes, wide grins on their faces.

    "You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel,
    winking conspiratorially.

    Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to
    the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you
    hold the pigeon down and I'll shit on it's head."

  9. #109
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    Cool Tuesday, April 4, 2006

    JB growing steadily. However it seems that new players these days are depositing like mad and are able to afford ghost/vigi and other items in a week! Only got my ghost set after 1 year of playing.

    Chicken or Pig

    A guy holding a chicken under his arm walks into his
    kitchen and over to the table where his wife is sitting
    and says, "You see there, thats the pig that I've been
    fucking!" His wife replies, "Honey, that's a chicken."
    The guy says, "I was talking to the chicken!"

    Pussy and Bitch

    A little boy comes home from school and asks his mother
    what a pussy is. The boy's mother gets out a dictionary
    and shows him a picture of a cat. The boy then asks
    his mom what a bitch is. The mother turns the pages
    until she finds a picture of a dog.

    When the boy's father gets home from work, the boy asks
    him what a pussy is. His father gets out a Playboy,
    opens it up to the centerfold, and draws a circle around
    the Playmate's pussy. The boy then asks his father
    to explain what a bitch is?

    The father looks at his son and says, "A bitch is everything
    outside the circle."

  10. #110
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    Cool Wednesday, April 5, 2006

    At last.... unlocked Serendipity!


    Click to enlarge




    Labor Pain Machine

    A married couple went to the hospital together to have
    their baby delivered.

    Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented
    a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's
    labor pain to the father of the baby. He asked if they
    were willing to try it out. They were both very much
    in favor of it.

    The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters,
    explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain
    than the father had ever experienced before. But as
    the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked
    the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor
    then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer.
    The husband was still feeling fine.

    The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and
    pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this,
    they decided to try for 50 percent.

    The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was
    obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged
    the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

    The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no
    pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got
    home, the mailman was dead on their porch.

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