Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Phew... office event was over. Now can concentrate back on EU.
Disciples are showing progress except for virus. The rest are currently
- Frankie Franklon Meng - 24%
Nice...
Hopefully my next ME item will be a nice one.
Saw two domes at Wolverine Hope? Think this is MA's new 'land' for sale.
Dumb and Dumber
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months,
saying he lacked "intellectual leadership". He received
a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter
who's lacking intelligence.
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With a Little Help from Our Friends!
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting
to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside
his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers
discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting
pleas to come out and give himself up.
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What Was Plan B?
An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a
motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated
teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw
money from his own bank accounts.
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These Nitwits Are Teaching Our Children?
A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-
day suspension under his elementary school's drug policy
last week - for Certs! Joey Hoeffer allegedly told a
classmate that the mints would make him "jump higher."
AND
A student in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for
three days for giving a classmate a cough drop. School
principal Forest Mann reiterated the school's "zero-
tolerance" policy...not to be confused with the "zero-
intelligence" policy.
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Some Days, It Just Doesn't Pay to Gnaw Through the Straps
Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause
of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month
- a short in the homeowner's newly installed fire prevention
alarm system. "This is even worse than last year," said
the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and
stole my new security system..."
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For the Main Course
A man in Taormina, Italy was hospitalized after swallowing
46 teaspoons, 2 cigarette lighters, and a pair of salad
tongs.
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The Getaway
A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop, and asked
for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the
take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and
worked the counter himself for three hours until police
showed up and grabbed him.
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Do-It-Yourself Brain Surgery?
In Ohio, an unidentified man in his late twenties walked
into a police station with a 9-inch wire protruding
from his forehead and calmly asked officers to give
him an X-ray to help him find his brain, which he claimed
had been stolen. Police were shocked to learn that the
man had drilled a 6-inch deep hole in his skull with
a Black & Decker power drill and had stuck the wire
in to try and find the missing brain.
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Have I Got a Deal for You!
More than 600 people in Italy wanted to ride in a spaceship
badly enough to pay $10,000 apiece for the first tourist
flight to Mars. According to the Italian police, the
would-be space travelers were told to spend their "next
vacation on Mars, amid the splendors of ruined temples
and painted deserts. Ride a Martian camel from oasis
to oasis and enjoy the incredible Martian sunsets. Explore
mysterious canals and marvel at the views. Trips to
the moon also available." Authorities believe that
the con men running this scam made off with over six
million dollars.
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Too Well-Educated
In Medford, Oregon, a 27-year-old jobless man with an
MBA blamed his college degree for his murder of three
people. "There are too many business grads out there,"
he said. "If I had chosen another field, all this may
not have happened."
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Did I Say That?
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect
who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When
detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the
words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man
shouted, "That's not what I said!"
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Ouch, That Smarts!
A bank robber in Virginia Beach got a nasty surprise
when a dye pack designed to mark stolen money exploded
in his Fruit-of-the-Looms. The robber apparently stuffed
the loot down the front of his pants as he was running
out the door. "He was seen hopping and jumping around,"
said police spokesman Mike Carey, "with an explosion
taking place inside his pants." Police have the man's
charred trousers in custody.
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Are We Not Communicating?
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is
pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No, you
idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"
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Not the Sharpest Knife in the Drawer!
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for
trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a
weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a
gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in
his pocket. Hmmm...wonder what he uses for a knife?