One of my drunken episodes is as follows:
I had been to see a friends auntie at xmas times, whose husband had passed away a few weeks before, and she was a little worse for wear, we had both served in the armed forces although there being around 40+ year time difference.
Anyway, she was toasting the queen and demanded that i do the same, however i had to do so with pint mixtures of spirits (not very nice i tell you), but i could hardly refuse due to the cirumstances etc.
Anyway my friend and i left a short while later, and we were off to meet friends in our local, it was quite a walk, so i suggested we should have a race, of course at this point i could hardly walk straight never mind run.
A race we had, i was lagging behind somewhat not surprisngly, when i raised my head to see my mates legs in the distance going hell for leather. I decided to kick my heels in and try to make up some ground, another look up and i was confronted with a large concrete lampost (old style uk lampost with rough concrete).
It was decision time, is it my nose or my chin, i went for the chin, unable to stop, collided, knocked my self out, and had a severe gash in my chin, and was covered in blood.
My trusty friend returned, brought me around, and soldiered my on to the pub as i refused to go for stiches, all my friends would not believe that i had been attacked by a lampost and demanded to know who did this to me.
The moral of the story, dont have stupid races when pissed.
I also once rode into a wall on a moped in Italy, when i was very drunk also.