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Jack Daniel's

What does "corkscrew" mean? :rolleyes:
 
StrategicJasmin said:
What does "corkscrew" mean? :rolleyes:
Click to expand...


Ill show ya...commhere!!! :dunce:


Ah well......finished my 2nd 5th of Jack, along with a wide variety of other alchoholic fukkin` liquid shit!!!!!

Aint gonna see NO MORES drunkin` rantds from my ass due to....well...nvm........*hiccup* :dunce:
 
Dear Liquor

Dear Liquor,

I thought I'd take a minute of your time to discuss some troubling factors with you. No please, continue fermenting, I'll do the talking.

First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours...your many sides and dimensions are mind-boggling (different than beer goggling, which I'll touch upon shortly.) Yes, my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer with the game...and you're even around during the holidays: hidden inside chocolates you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings.

Yet lately, I've been wondering about your intentions. You see, I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, but I feel that your influence has led to unwise consequences, briefed below for your review:

1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity occurs at 5am.

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal and, though cooking is far from my specialty, why you suggested that I eat a kabob with chili sauce coupled with a pot noodle and some stale crisps (washed down with chocolate Nesquik and topped off with a Kit Kat) is beyond me. Eclectic eater I am, but I think you went a bit too far this time.

3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me I need to do yoga more to increase my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down the stairs. Completely unnecessary. Similarly, it should never take me more than 30 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

4. Pictures: This is a blessing in disguise, as it can often clarify the last point below, but the following costumes are heretofore banned from being placed on my head in public: Indian wigs, sombreros, bows, ties, boxes, upside-down cups, inflatable balloon animals, traffic cones, bras.

5. Beer Goggles: If I think I may know her from somewhere, I most likely do not. PLEASE do not request that I go over and see if in fact, I do actually know that person. This is similar to the old "Hey, you're in my class" syndrome circa 1996 at SU, and should heretofore be rendered illegal. Coupled with this is the phrase "Let's shag." While I may be thinking this, please reinstate the brain-to-mouth block that would keep this thought from being a statement, specially in public.

6. To Mr. Jack Daniels: Please do not entice me to pick fights with space heaters...and then follow through.


Furthermore, the subsequent hangovers have GOT to stop. Now, I know a little penance for our previous evenings' debauchery may be in order, but the 2pm Hangover Immobility is completely unacceptable. I ask that if the proper steps are proactively taken on my part (i.e. water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to bed/passing out facedown on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be quite minimal and in no way interfere with my daily Saturday or Sunday (or any day, for that matter) activities. Come on now, it's only fair—you do your part, I'll do mine.

Alcohol, I have enjoyed our relationship for some years now, and want to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pocket. In order to continue this relationship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above and address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday at 5pm (pre happy hour) with your possible solutions and hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you for your prompt attention to these matters.

Sincerely - your biggest fan,
Me
 
This thread needs kick in the ass! :D
 
i love u man :drink:
 
Don't know about the kick in the ass, but the tour is awesome! Get to watch them burn the sugar maple down to charcoal, and when they flap that barrel top so you can smell the mash, mmmm good. Then there's the aging house, stacked 50 feet high with barrels of JD. It's worth the trip to beautiful Lynchburg, Tennessee. Oh, it is in a dry county though, so, bring your own. :D
 
i should find strawberry vodka for this weekend:tongue2:
 
Bumpin` this mutha` right away too!!!!! WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Gall-Dang closed up the tittie bar last night.....woke up feelin` like all hell....pee`d.....grabbed "hair-O-the-dog"........thats alll she needed to write baby!!!!!!!!:yay:


.....Aww damn!!! I think I pooped after that pee...(see above)..forgot to say that....lol.....:shots:
 
MudKicker said:
Bumpin` this mutha` right away too!!!!! WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Gall-Dang closed up the tittie bar last night.....woke up feelin` like all hell....pee`d.....grabbed "hair-O-the-dog"........thats alll she needed to write baby!!!!!!!!:yay:


.....Aww damn!!! I think I pooped after that pee...(see above)..forgot to say that....lol.....:shots:
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LOL, Mud. Little hair myself this morning.
 
I'm hungover... I have a sore throat... I havent showered yet... Everytime I start to move to go make food I sick a little in my mouth....

I'M NEVER EVER DRINKING EVER EVER EVER AGAIN!!1 :rolleyes:
 
ultimababe said:
I'm hungover... I have a sore throat... I havent showered yet... Everytime I start to move to go make food I sick a little in my mouth....

I'M NEVER EVER DRINKING EVER EVER EVER AGAIN!!1 :rolleyes:
Click to expand...


Even after all that, your STILL a hottie!!!!!:yay:
 
Faustian said:
Dear Liquor,

I thought I'd take a minute of your time to discuss some troubling factors with you. No please, continue fermenting, I'll do the talking.

First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours...your many sides and dimensions are mind-boggling (different than beer goggling, which I'll touch upon shortly.) Yes, my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer with the game...and you're even around during the holidays: hidden inside chocolates you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings.

Yet lately, I've been wondering about your intentions. You see, I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, but I feel that your influence has led to unwise consequences, briefed below for your review:

1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity occurs at 5am.

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal and, though cooking is far from my specialty, why you suggested that I eat a kabob with chili sauce coupled with a pot noodle and some stale crisps (washed down with chocolate Nesquik and topped off with a Kit Kat) is beyond me. Eclectic eater I am, but I think you went a bit too far this time......................................................



Sincerely - your biggest fan,[/color]
Me[/b]
Click to expand...

nice 1 Fausty :) lemnme know when u get some respons,, and I send a similar letter to my liquor about this issue.. I have also noticed some of those sympthoms when hanging out with him ...
 
Faustian said:
Dear Liquor,
..edit..
Click to expand...

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Faustian again.

Best post I read for ages on EF, actually something that made sense :) thx alot n1 Faustian
 
ultimababe said:
I'm hungover... I have a sore throat... I havent showered yet... Everytime I start to move to go make food I sick a little in my mouth....

I'M NEVER EVER DRINKING EVER EVER EVER AGAIN!!1 :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Hello ulti, I'm your future self and I hearby call you a god damned liar :confused:

I present... the black absinthe

wXP_224437_01.jpg


80% Vol.

Death in a bottle :laugh: Notice the rather small amount left :p
 
Hmmmm well this weekend i had a kegger over at my house to celebrate my girlfriends and a good other friends birthdays.... Needless to say i ended up passing out and waking up with half my arm inside my dryer, while the rest of me lay slumped in the corner next to it :p When i actually went out to explore the after morning mayhem that was my house i discovered that someone had stepped on the keg nozzle probably near the end of the party and hadnt bothered to stop and turn the damn thing off... With that happening my floor which is carpeted then became soaked, and someone hit all my dvd's right into the middle of that mess (near 500$ of dvd's) which of course became soaked in beer... Someone also must have turned my thermostat up to about 80 degrees fahrenheit, so you can imagine me waking up with the worst possible hangover coming into a room that was trashed and smelt of 80 degree beer (the pool of beer was of course rightly situated just next to the vent, which I think some leaked down in there :p)... To say the least i didn't feel all that good for the majority of the weekend ;P

Moral of this story is.... Don't do 3 kegstands in about 15 minutes, and never pass out before you make sure that everyone has left ; )
 
I just wanted to say... I'M STILL HERE!

Kicking back at almost 3am drinking some beers and shots of Canadian Mist. Cause I'm to cheap to buy any JD :monkey:

LOL new smileys :eyecrazy:
 
Im Drunk! Yes! Finally!

Yes!

Finally im drunk again :D

After working 59 days in a row I can finally be drunk again, since im off work tomorrow!

YES!!! IM DRUNK! WQOHHOOO!!!:yay:
 
Uh... gratz.... I guess? :scratch2:
 
Grats!!! :yay:
 
welcome to the club... again...:scratch2:

havent been solver for 59 days in a row since hmmm i was 13-14 maybe... :rolleyes:

alcoholic? Yes im afraid so
 
:birthday: :yay:
 
Where the hell is the gratz button for this ? *stumbles across the room*

Gratz on the brain cell killing hehe

Claire
 
no worries , brain cells regenerate ;) have one for me , bah , i`ll just have it myself lol
 
lol @ regenerate remark :)

Don't drink and depo those peds fooo! :)
 
mmm....beer :wtg:
 
Gratz!

That makes alcohol addiction easier to get rid of than EU addiction?!
 
i am omw!

vodka lemon here :drink:

i hate my GF just now. went out with a 'friend'. lol. male of course :mad:

'so fun to talk with him'. sure. on a clubbing. must be very interesting talk... :rolleyes:

damn girl! *hick* :sniper:
 
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